


Dance With a Spider, you'll fall in love

by Tjhyy



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, OC, OOC stuff, Past Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Trans Male Character, somewhat polygamous
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-17 22:02:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 23,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21600451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tjhyy/pseuds/Tjhyy
Summary: Angel Dust has spent almost two years at the Hazbin Hotel, and everyone thought they had Angel pinned down for who he was, but forget to acknowledge that Angel had spent over 70 years in Hell, but had only been Pentagram City's best Porn Star for two decades. They would soon come to a realization that they only knew the surface once Angel's mother is set to arrive. HIATUS.
Relationships: Alastor/Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Lilith Magne/Lucifer Magne
Comments: 57
Kudos: 247





	1. A Spider's Death

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first AO3 post, so I have no idea whatsoever what I am doing or if my tags are correct. 
> 
> I was also trying really hard to fight this urge to write this fic, but like fuck it! I am going to write this despite the inaccuracies that may come with it as the show progresses. And then regret every decision made afterwards.

"NO! PLEASE DAD! IT WAS JUST A JOKE! A JOKE! I SWEAR THAT I'M NOT A FAGGOT! I SWEAR!" Angel tried to reason with his father as he was being forcibly strapped to a bed by his uncles and cousins. His brother Arackniss watched on beside his father. The both of them not sharing a shred of sympathy for Angel, and were simply disappointed.

His father sighed, "A joke is s'ppsed to be funny n' we're not laughing. The Mafia is serious business n' we can't let this shit get out. We can't let you ruin our reputation."

Angel wanted to retort, but he froze when he saw a doctor walk up with a briefcase. He opened it to reveal needles, bottles of liquids and an ice pick with a hammer. Angel had a sponge shoved in his mouth and a rag wrapped around it while the doctor prepared the injections. The young man struggled to get free, but his family held him down. He whimpered with tears in his eyes when he felt the needle break his skin. He felt his heart beat racing to the point of bursting as his head heated up from the adrenaline he couldn't utilize.

After the needle was pulled out, Angel remained completely still that his family got their hands off of him. He felt his conscious fall away as the sharp end of the ice pick floated above his left eye. Once the darkness seized him, he thought back to his mother, and the most freedom they ever had together.

It was during the early 1930s in New Orleans, Louisiana. Nineteen-year-old Angel and his mother, Felicia, had traveled there to get away from an intense Mafia conflict. Angel was supposed to remain, but his mother insisted that he leave since there had to be a man to travel with. Of course, his mother could've gone with Molly and her family to Chicago, but was insistent on leaving to Louisiana. This trip had been planned for a long time, and his mother been a good daughter, a good sister, a good wife, a good mother, and a damn good helping hand in the family business. There had been an uneven balance to the giving and taking, that that very instance was going to take all of his mother's patience away if the vacation with the favorite child was to be denied.

And so the two were finally in a new state, in a new city with absolutely no one who knew them. They took advantage of it to finally dress up the way they always wanted to in public.

Angel sat very still in front of his mother beside the vanity table. It was only sunrise, but if they wanted to make the most of their vacation, they needed all the time they had for perfection. "Make me look like Marion Davies!"

"Hearst's mistress?"

Angel rolled his eyes, shaking his head, "Yes, the mistress who is one of the best actresses of the decade, mama!"

"Now don't give me lip, young lady!" Angel had his nose fluffed by the end of a brush. "You know that I prefer books over picture shows."

"But in a book, you can't hear your favorite characters sing, n' you didn't even know what a tango really looked like until we had that trip to Argentina!"

"A book has a better laid out story than what a picture show can crunch down to measly few hours. Besides, it may be Fall, but Louisiana don't give a fuck about cold weather. Like hell, I'm gonna cake makeup on your pretty face to see it melting."

"I'm wearing a hat, Mama!"

"Hush. Leave it to the professional. No actresses or nothin'. We're sticking to natural. Y'hear me." Angel sighed with his shoulders slumped and a big duck pout on his lips. His mother smiled at his cuteness. "Now close your eyes. Heaven be that the Lord birth you with the face of an angel. I guess he gave me twins so that no one would question your feminine qualities. The way the light gives the blonde of your locks an ethereal glow as if a halo was about to pop out of that noggin of yours." She tilted his head up with the tip of her finger, "Brown eyes are the norm, but yours are captured in the perfect lens that showcase your passion, your fury, your love that seems so child-like but what's more honest and a terrible liar than that of a child. My oh my, how could you ask to look like another when you're clearly one-of-a-kind?"

"What? Nothing about my adorable smile?" The two giggled. His mother then proceeded to apply the eyeliner.

"Are you going to make it pink?" Angel asked excitedly.

"Of course."

Angel sat still, falling into a relaxing meditation as makeup poked and rubbed against his carefully kept skin. This wasn't the first time he had makeup applied. Ever since he was practically a toddler, he had always liked both girl and boy things. He always got jealous that Molly got to have dolls, though felt content being given toy guns and action figures. One time, he was left alone in his parents' room and his eyes were glued to his mother's vanity table. He had been told not to touch it, but he wanted to wear the makeup so badly. He wanted to be pretty like all the other women, especially those in the picture show.

He was lucky that his mother was the first to find him, otherwise his life would've turned for the worse if anyone else had. His mother was surprised, but easily came to an understanding practically no other parent could. They talked about why Angel wanted to wear the makeup and he was gently reassured that nothing was wrong with him, but it wasn't accepted like how others weren't despite being harmless and human. Just like how his mother wasn't a woman at heart but a man.

Since then, the two shared this secret bond.

"Almost finished. There's only one last thing to add." His mother walked over to the vanity table and opened the drawer. He pulled out a red velvet jewelry box, and opened it in front of his son.

Angel gasped. Right before him was a diamond choker that had a haloed pink diamond at the center. It came with a matching ring and a set of earrings. "Holy shit, are they real?"

"I had a jeweler owe me a lil favor. It's too fancy to wear for a casual stroll, so the choker will just do to hide that adam's apple." He picked out the choker and set the box on the vanity table. He walked around his son. Angel felt his heartbeat pick up as he stared at himself in the mirror. He held his breath when the diamonds slid up to his neck, and he never felt such pleasure when it closed around his throat, and didn't let go. "Now you're perfect."

Angel stood up from his chair, and walked over to the body length mirror by the wall. As he came into view, he felt himself flush in happiness. He was wearing a knee-length a-line backless pink dress with a modest v-neck and cap sleeves. His mother had stuffed fluffed into his bra, and used his makeup to give Angel the illusion of breasts.

Angel turned side to side on his high heels. He loved the way the flare of his skirt swayed with him. He made kissy faces towards the picture. He absolutely loved his red lips, and couldn't stop fluttering his darkened long eyelashes. He was such a pink doll as he turned his head side to side to adore the framing of his face by his short wavy hair that was actually a wig held down by a cloche hat.

He then turned around to enjoy the reveal of his back. It was so daring of him.

He then cleared his throat to test out his feminine voice with a sultry feminine tone, "Hey Mister, my name is Angel. Don't let the name fool you. I may give a little heaven in every man I meet, but there's nothing holy about me." He winked at the mirror.

His mother snorted, "What men?"

Angel groaned at her, "Hey, you don't have to rub it in my face! Seriously! Nineteen and I'm a virgin while Molly had sucked so much sausage that the whole football team knows she has freckles on her cooch!"

"You could always sleep with a woman to just rid of yourself the pain of being a virgin."

"Ha! I may rid of myself being a virgin, but I'll get depressed at the idea of acting straight!"

His mother gave him a knowing smile, and also a well-meaning one, "You're going to have to do it at some point to hide the fact that you're not. You can always chuck up the excuse that you're a virgin because you're a romantic at heart, but you can't excuse never getting some in the first place."

"I can say that my work is my life. I mean c'mon." Angel sat down on their bed. "Everyone knows that I'm going to be the one to succeed in this family business of ours. Molly wants nothing to do with it, and Big bro Junior isn't as smart or clever as me. The very head honcho of this web adores me, too."

His mother sat down with him, "He does, doesn't he. I wouldn't be surprised if he were to name you his heir to this web of crime since his own children seem to be swatted down like flies. You're incredibly clever, Angel."

Angel warmly smiled at his mother, feeling vibrant by the compliment. "I learned it from the best."

The two then enjoyed their vacation before having to go back to New York to continue playing their assigned roles. Around a decade later, Angel and his older brother had been drafted to serve in WWII. It was ironic since the brothers were Italian despite being born in America, but they still took up the service and fought against the Axis powers, shooting their long distance relatives. Angel didn't know what exactly to expect, but things did turn to his favor when he was made to suck the cock of his fellow soldiers. His older brother was stationed elsewhere, so he let himself go and became the dick slut he always knew he was. His virginity was taken by his sergeant before he was shared among the others.

He sent a letter with secret coding to inform his mother of how he was doing. His mother sent him back a coded letter telling him that he was happy that Angel was finally able to explore his sexuality, but to please never use the description of mayonnaise and sausage to metaphorically put his sex-capades. He understood his son's excitement at trying something that he never thought he could, but they were still parent and child, and this proud cooking parent will not stand for this. Angel couldn't help laughing.

After the war ended, and he needed to go home, a part of him wished he didn't have to since that meant that he had to return to playing the straight man with no sex life. But he truly missed everything else. He wanted to go back into the arms of his mother, eat his home cooking, and smoke weed with him, and they did just that once he arrived.

It wasn't difficult for Angel to adapt back to city life at the NYC since he still was called to a battlefield by his Mafia family, but things did become different. Before the war he was incredibly adept at his work, but was moreso a secondary character to the great scale of thing. However now, he truly was taking the reigns in handling the business by taking lead and producing results. He was a different man who had finally felt secure about himself, that even if he can't have dick anymore, he at least had a taste of it, and it was a delicious secret to keep under his confident strides.

But now, that resulted in his envious, threatened older brother to dig for dirt on him, and used that to get their father to get him lobotomized since that was the rage to fix homosexuals.

After the procedure, he was left alone to recover in his room. He remembered it all, but he couldn't feel any emotion towards that trauma. He couldn't remember where he was. He just knew that something was wrong, but his train of thought kept derailing. He was hungry. He felt so hungry. He was able to pick himself up, and look through the room for something to eat. He found bags of powder that he remembered that he had to deliver that night. He knew it was PCP, and that it was dangerous but it was also edible to him. That'll fill him. That'll stop the hunger, so he ate all the powder from one bag to the other.

"My baby angel stop." He heard his mother tell him with a soft voice.

Angel couldn't move his lips, but he heard himself say, "But I'm so hungry."

"Then I'll make it go away. Come here, my baby angel." He went over to the bed where he thought the pillow was his lap. It was so soft and so warm. He no longer felt hungry, "Better?"

He heard himself say at a distance, "Better."

"I love you more than anything in this world. If anything were to happen to you, I'll give you justice."

Angel smiled, "I know, mama. I know. I love yo..." Angel suddenly felt the bed along with the floor collapse below him, and then felt himself fall through them. Gravity was tugging at his body harder and harder that he felt himself become a meteorite burning up and about to hit the ground. He screamed in agony by the taut skin tearing sensation of his body growing taller as his limbs deformed themselves and multiply. He felt his face widen in order to give space for the slits on his cheeks. Angel felt them split itself open, and fuck with his vision.

He heard his voice give out, and thought that he would never stop falling, but then color soon came to view before he hit the ground.

Angel Dust sat up abruptly, waking from the nightmare he just had. For a moment, he forgot where he was until he remembered that he was back in Hazbin Hotel. He had been a staff worker and guest at the hotel for almost two years now, and Charlie's business was still booming with demons trying to better themselves whether it was for the sake of redemption or not, and there had been an increase of staff in order to handle the mess.

He looked over to Fat Nuggets who was sleeping soundly at their bed. He calmed down at the sight of that. He was at a safe place and he wasn’t alone.

He looked over to his alarm clock to see that he barely slept at all even though the dream seemed to go on for years. He sighed in defeat, and decided to not bother sleeping. Instead, he took a shower and then changed into a light pink sweater dress with a heart key hole, and boots. He made sure to leave food for Fat Nuggets in case he wouldn’t be able to make it back.

He grabbed for his white handbag before making his way down to the Hotel’s lobby where Charlie was doing papers at the reception/bar. She quickly noticed him, and she somewhat smiled though appeared to be comforted by Angel’s presence. He gave the same smile back. The two of them still remembered what happened barely two weeks ago.

It all started when Alastor purposely drove a wedge between Charlie and Vaggie. He had done it before, but what he did then was the final straw where Vaggie confessed that she thought that Charlie’s idea was stupid and she only put up with it to make her happy, but after what Alastor did and how Charlie was still able to forgive him, she couldn’t take it anymore so left the hotel.

Things seemed to go as planned, but then Alastor didn’t take into consideration that Angel would be kidnapped by an Overlord from another city. This Overlord had a bone to pick with the royal family so used Angel to lure Charlie out, and she took the bait to come alone just like he planned.

She tried to reason and bargain with the Overlord, but the sick bastard only wanted to torture her. He knew better than to do it physically, so trapped her in an impenetrable glass and forced her to watch him torture Angel.

“ _NO! STOP! PLEASE!” She begged as she watched Angel be chained naked to the floor. His mouth was kept shut by a ball gag, and his body fur littered the place by the blade that caressed his skin. Randomly it would flay him bit by bit. Once it reached his upper cheek, the overlord dug the tip of the knife into each of his smaller eyes. Angel was crying both tears of water and blood down his face, but he refused to scream no matter how much the man hurt him._

“ _ANGEL! Angel...I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Charlie found it hard to breathe, and fell to her knees hopelessly._

_The man finally let Angel go, relishing in her despair. After a few minutes, he had to exit the room to deal with a business matter. While he was gone Angel crawled over to her. The chain was long enough for him to be right in front of the glass since the man had fun smashing him against it. He removed the ball gag without his hands, and let it dropped with his drool. He took his first deep breath, which he regretted when the pain spiked differently in him. He was in so much pain, but he still softly spoke to Charlie, “Hey, what are you gettin’ all teary for? I’ve been through worse.”_

_She looked up at him, confused as to why he was being so calm despite the utter humiliation and six of his eyes having been stabbed. “Angel...”_

“ _What? My eyes? I already had my eye busted back when I was human and that’s cuz the doctor was an amateur at lobotomy. Supposed to bust both eyes and fuck with the front of the brain.”_

_Charlie breathed in as she tried to stop her trembling, but she couldn’t find the strength to do it. She submerged further into her despair, “This is all my fault.” “Hey, hey.” “He’s right.” She confessed with each and every word becoming heavier and heavier, “I only opened the hotel, because I hate myself. I didn’t really care if anyone could be redeemed. I didn’t care at all of who would be redeemed. I just wanted to believe that if redemption was real, then maybe in some impossible way, I could do it too. Because I hate who I am! I hate being the princess of Hell!” She sobbed._

“ _But things are different now, right?” Charlie looked at him confused again. Angel chuckled as he clarified, “Hey, I’m not saying that the guy is right, but if you think he is, and you really started this whole crazy redemption hotel thing just to make yourself feel better, well...Isn’t that how goals are made in the first place. I mean, even for the most noble causes, they do it to make themselves feel better. To make themselves feel like they mean something. But as things go on, it’s not just to make themselves better, but for the friends they made along the way right.”_

_Charlie felt herself breathe a bit easier as she processed what Angel told her._

_The spider let her know, “And I think I’m one of them. Being the top porn star of Pentagram City is an honor, but it’s a one-note gig that wouldn’t have lasted. But at the hotel, though, I didn’t feel like some one note whore, but a symphony that could go on and on with its highs and lows. Do you know what were my first thoughts when I got kidnapped? I was worried about Fat Nuggets and how to escape, of course, but I was also worried about the Hotel. I was worried about you, Vag, and everyone since I knew you all were having a rough time, and I wanted to make sure that you were okay. Because I care about you and the Hotel.” Angel turned around to lie his back against the glass since he was so tired of kneeling. Did it too many times for far too long. “You may have not redeemed anyone, Charlie, but if I were to be caught in the crosshairs of an extermination, at least I died having had a little piece of Heaven from you.”_

_Charlie sniffed, “Di-did you just flirt with me?”_

_Angel chuckled, “Had to get one in before that faux sadistic wannabe shit comes back and try to rip my tongue out.”_

“ _How can you even joke about that!”_

“ _How can you let that guy get under your skin? He can’t kill me, Charles. Not permanently anyway. And yeah, I’m in a lot of pain, but that’s Hell. Pain comes and goes. You just have to figure out how to handle the aftermath. Relax, Charles. If we don’t find a way out, Vag and the others will come for us. And that’s because that’s what the Hotel staff does. Save their friends.”_

_Charlie pushed her palms against the glass, wishing she knew how to phase through it, “Angel...”_

_Just then, the overlord came back and tugged at the chain, propelling Angel into the air and then yanked onto the ground with an audible crack echoing through the room. The man stomped on his mouth, shattering his teeth as he did._

“ _Angel!” Charlie cried out, pushing her palms even harder on the glass. Angel looked to her, and gave her a broken smile before a hammer crushed his abdomen, forcing him to cough out blood. “No, no, no, no.” She kept repeating as she thought back to her own father, Lucifer, and all the power he had. She had it, too, but she always held that back because she didn’t want to be him. She didn’t want to be Evil._

_But then Angel’s words rang through her. Friends. She never had them growing up. Anyone she became friends with she ended up dating, which meant only two which was her shitty ex-boyfriend and her beloved ex-girlfriend Vaggie. But Angel, he made her laugh. He also made her cringe, but without fail, he made her open and loosen up a little more. He had disappointed her with his relapses, but he also gave her faith when he comforted her and helped her understand her citizens better. To change the parenting approach she grew up with, and be a proper counselor. They fought, made up, and after what went down between Alastor and Vaggie, she knew she would’ve gone to Angel for advice and cheering up. Because Angel was her friend._

“ _ **ANGEL!** ” Charlie allowed for the flames of Hell in her blood to break free. She drew her hands back to her, and concentrated the energy she adapted quickly to shatter the glass with the mere wave of her hands. Her blonde hair became dyed with red as wings withdrew from her body. Her body expanded and deformed, having horns sprout from her head into a curl. _

_The Overlord withdrew from Angel, cowering at the sight of Charlie reaching her final form. Angel was shocked at first, but quickly snapped out of it, and used his legs to jump to both prevent Charlie from attacking the overlord, but to also set himself free from his chains. He knew it was an insane move, but it was the first thought his dumb brain could think of._

_Angel then quickly got in between Charlie and the Overlord, miming for her to calm down since his teeth was too busted to properly speak._

“ _WHY DO YOU SHOW MERCY FOR THIS COWARD!” Charlie roared, making the overlord wet his pants and blew all the fluff across the room._

“ _Ith noth liketh thath!” Angel groaned at his speech. “Pleath fith muh mouth firth!” Charlie did so despite the rage that threatened to blind her. Angel smiled, feeling the completeness of his teeth again, “Thank you. And Charlie, this isn’t about him. It’s about you. I’m ecstatic that you went all Evil Hell Princess for me, but this is not you, and I won’t let this guy be the one to change that. Kay?”_

_Charlie only looked far more animated to murder the son of a bitch anyway, but Angel approached her, not at all afraid of the dark atmospheric energy or her wicked form. This relaxed attitude threw Charlie’s vengeful mood aside, though she still felt pissed off. The spider demon again reasoned, “Look, instead of you throwing away your own values like all the other demons in Hell does, we can do this the other way like all those superhero in the comics do, leave it to the court. Your dad would do a lot better than you would’ve to punish this guy.”_

_Charlie felt herself further relax at the suggestion. Her monstrous form dissolved back to normal but her eyes remained reddened by anger and remorse. She pouted at the idea of letting her dad get involved, but Angel was right. If she did let herself go, the overlord got what he wanted. Plus, Angel was the real victim to all of this, having been used as a toy to get to her. He was the one she needed to think about first._

“ _Ang-OW!” She looked to her arm to see a tranquilizer dart meant to take down powerful demons. She fell slack into Angel’s arms._

“ _What the fu…!”Angel’s jaw dropped at the sight of a wall opening up to reveal very recognizable spears used only every once a year. The spider immediately kicked the overlord, using one of the spears to strike him down, and then used the other to break the door down._

_Once it opened, he bolted out with Charlie in his arms. He was truly thankful for his insect legs since he could leap blocks away from the madman in seconds. However, it appeared he had to make use of each and every one of them when he heard a self-destruct sequence activated, and was set to go off in five minutes. It also didn’t help when his lackeys found them, and began shooting at them._

_With his years of experience, he was able to handle carrying Charlie, avoiding gunfire, and stealing one for defense all at once. He then found himself lucky to find a map to with the exits marked, only to discover that the headquarters was an actual beehive above lava, and the only way to get out was through flying, which was what Charlie must’ve done to get in, but she was currently drugged at the moment, and he didn’t have time to try to get one of the lackeys to help them escape without being double-crossed. Angel almost lost hope until he spotted that there was a garage, so he made his way there. He found a bunch of cars but none of them had any secret button to turn them into planes or some shit. He felt immense relief when he found a rocket, but it was small enough to only fit one person in the fetal position. As if it was created for a baby to leave a doomed place._

_He quickly placed Charlie in there, and then tried to squeeze himself in, but he was far too tall, and the ship was too narrow. He knew that if he left Charlie behind, then he would be able to fit, but he shook the thought away and exit the ship. He then set the coordinates for Charlie’s home to get to Lucifer as soon as possible to deal with this mess._

“ _Noooo,” Charlie said sluggishly. “Angel...”_

_He shushed her gently, reassuring her, “Hey, I’m going to be o-”_

_Charlie groggily noticed the pause, wondering if she had lost consciousness for a moment. “A...”_

“ _I-I’m fine. I...Charlie, I meant what I said earlier.” The door of the ship began to close, “You, the hotel, everyone, you turned my life into a symphony. I love you.”And with that, the ship launched. Charlie fell out of consciousness quickly after that._

_Angel on the other hand looked down at his chest fluff, seeing a recognizable spear there, but the blue blood was new. He looked further down to see two more spears._

“ _YOU ABSOLUTE WRENCH! YOU’LL PAY FOR MAKING ME LOOK LIKE THE FOOL!”_

_Angel painfully huffed as he turned to the overlord who was being helped up by his lackeys who held the last spear. The spider snorted at him, “Ha, a little too late to accuse me after the bu-bullshit you pulled.” He glared as much as he could at the asshole, just waiting for the place to blow up because he would be damned if this guy saw him die before him._

“ _HA! IT’S LESS FOOLISH COMPARED TO YOURS! SAVING THE STUPID PRINCESS WHO THOUGHT SHE COULD GET YOU BACK WITH TALKING!”_

“ _Yeah, cuz that’s what smart people do! Talk, fucker! You,” He took in a deep breath, holding his stance. “You think you got her figured out and thought you could break her through me! You were wrong!”_

“ _Oh please! Don’t act so high and mighty like some hero. You didn’t get into the ship not because you wanted to save her, but because you knew that if word got out that you let the Princess of Hell die, then there was no chance of you surviving anyway!”_

_Angel chuckled, swaying a bit as the time came down to one minute, “That thought didn’t actually cross my mind. Her being the princess of Hell that is. I just thought of her as Charlie and how much she means to everyone.” Angel reluctantly got on his knees. “I’d be pissed as hell too if someone threw her under the bus to save themselves.” He thought back to his mother and all the Sunday mornings they spent at church. He smiled sadly as he bought his four hands together. He hadn’t done this since before WWII. After having tasted cock, he thought he had truly fallen out of favor with the Big Man himself. For a time, he really thought he was in Hell not only because of his Mafia business but because of his sexuality. But years later, it came to light that that wasn’t the case. So Angel didn’t ask the Big Man to forgive him for being gay, for being a pornstar, for being a person who could swear a sailor down, or for being a prankster who used drugs. He knew who he was, and was proud of it. He only prayed for forgiveness for crimes he committed for his Mafia family, looking back and truly regretting what he had done. And lastly, he wanted the Big Man to at least know before his vision faded to black was that he hoped for Charlie’s dream to come true._

_Angel felt himself grow numb to the pain and figured that he was still kneeling with the spears in his body keeping him on his knees with his arms probably dangling by his sides. He allowed his last thought to be, “I hope we’ll be together soon, ma.”_

_Then everything went silent, but it only lasted for a split second before a white light completely engulfed the darkness. Angel opened his eyes wide and looked up to see a waterfall of light completely surround him._

And he wasn’t the only one who saw it. Every single person saw the huge beam of light that shot from the moon. They all thought that Heaven had finally decided to screw with exterminations, and erase Hell as a whole to renew itself. But it remained exactly where it shot for one good hour before fading away.

All of Hell went ape-shit trying to understand what the fuck just happened. The higher-ups tried to reach Lucifer or Lilith but they were still having their vacation on Earth, so they had missed the event. Once they came back, they called Charlie about the incident, and for the first time, she perfectly lied to them that she didn’t know what happened. But her and Angel did, and that was their secret.

“Couldn’t sleep again?” Charlie asked, filing the papers away, and then poured the spider some lemonade. “How are your eyes?”

“The vision is still blurry as fuck, but hey, better then having six empty eye sockets.” the spider shrugged, taking his seat at the stool. “What sucks more is how uneven my fluff is growing. Look at this shit!” He pulled down his sweater to reveal patches of baby hairs.

“You are recovering. At least your hair grew back.” Charlie remained optimistic.

Angel ran his hand through his hair, “It did, didn’t it. What about you?”

“Perfectly fine as much as a hotel owner can be.” She poured herself some lemonade. “Can’t say the same for the rest of Hell. A lot happened while you were recovering. After the light beam from Heaven disappeared, almost every demon in Hell went insane, causing more chaos here than ever in centuries. And that led to the exterminator’s weapons that were collected after each extermination to spread around after they were found after a riot, so not only murders but suicides skyrocketed.”

“Are you fuckin’ serious?” Angel had been unconscious for most of the first week and then semi-conscious for half of this week. Apparently after the incident, Charlie had bought him back to the Hotel a few minutes before the beam of light disappeared. She was able to get Angel medical attention and keep the Hotel calm. As for the city, she tried through the news broadcasting, but even though she was able to get everyone to shut up, the city was still disorganized and fear ran rampant. “It was one beam of light!”

“A beam of light that completely eradicated an entire city.” Charlie tried to say evenly, but her tone dropped. Angel’s eyes widened, but she quickly added, “Though to be fair, the city was a small one dictated by the overlord who kidnapped you, so it was filled with just mindless slaves than actual people.”

“Oh good cuz it would’ve been overkill to destroy an entire city cuz the overlord was an ass. It’s like if Valentino upset them, and we were all killed for his shit!” He took a sip of his drink and then asked, “Hey so where’s Alastor? I hadn’t seen him since I woke up.”

Charlie nervously chuckled, “I may have told him to back off in not so kind words while you were in a coma.”

“Oh shit. Did you do it in your demonic form?”

She lightly put it, “Only a little...with the burning flames of Hell as my background.”

Angel covered his mouth, giving Charlie a surprised and proud expression, “Holy shit, you’ve finally grown some balls.”

“Hey!” The goat woman giggled. “But yeah. Maybe if I had them in the first place, Vaggie and I wouldn’t have had that fight and the hotel would’ve gone smoother.”

Angel shrugged, “Past is the past. Vags is back, Alastor’s off your ass while still paying for this place, and sure Pentagram City is fucked, but at least that could mean Heaven might not do an Extermination this year.”

“Angel!”

“I’m just stating facts! We already knew that those weapons were out there and weren’t being put to good use.” Angel subconsciously put three of his hands on the places where the spear heads had pierced. He felt the chills and the slight ghost pains, but he was fine, “Is your dad at least doing anything about this mess?”

“My dad had been upset recently because a close friend of his had gone missing after he came back from his vacation, but mom had been keeping him focused on getting Grandpa to send some exterminators to collect the weapons. My mom sent her own people out to do it, too, but demons have a less likely chance to survive that kind of encounter.”

At least something was being done about the chaos. Angel switched the conversation, “How is Miss Rosie’s business doing? I figured I’d visit her today to get some new clothes.”

“Oh, she’s doing well actually! Alastor informed me that the beam of light didn’t bother her too much since if Heaven wants to claim the city, then it’d be one Hell of a way to go down here. Plus, it’s stupid to waste time panicking. Those who do have just been biding their time not making the most of it. She’s been able to keep riots out of her emporium, and continue business as usual so you should be able to make your way there. What kind of outfits are you planning on getting?”

“I decided to throw away the clothes that Valentino bought for me, so I need to restock my closet. And I was also wondering what new job I should try out for since I quit being a porn star and a prostitute. Crazy, I know, but with the population dwindling, there has to be plenty of jobs available.”

“I totally support you for wanting to change careers, but as your friend, I don’t think it’s for the best to look for any at the moment since demons are still running around literally murdering each other. I also think I should follow you. Not that I don’t trust Miss Rosie, buuuuut, emporiums are a big store, and who knows who is lurking where...you know! And the fact that the extermination might still happen next week, it could make the streets even more dangerous.”

Angel smirked at how unnecessarily awkward yet cute Charlie tended to be. “Alright toots, but who will you have watching the hotel?”

“I’m sure I can have Crymini do it. I’ll call my chauffeur to pick us up after we have breakfast, but it’s a little too early to have that so want a late midnight snack and play video games til then?”

“You read my mind.”

The two bought some chips and lemonade with them to the recreational room at the top floor. There they spent the morning hours first playing an adventure video game that had them screaming and laughing as they tried to defeat each and every level and side task. Angel was the one mostly screaming and Charlie was the one mostly laughing to the point of sliding off her bean bag. They got so lost in their fun.

Luckily, Razzle and Dazzle reminded them of their other morning plans. They still had over an hour, so Angel couldn’t resist helping Charlie dress up for the shopping trip. He raided through her closet, trying to find the best shopping outfit. The two had gone shopping together before, so it wasn’t disappointing to search through like the first time.

Angel decided to go for sweater casual where he had her wear a grey sweater with black jeggings and sneakers. Simplicity was important to make it easier to shop and Charlie preferred it. Angel then put her hair into a updo bun, and covered her red cheeks so he could apply some lovely bronze blush, and colored her black lips a darling shade of pink. Going out as the princess was dangerous, so they were going to be driven in a safe but less fancy car. Once he was done, he put Charlie hair down, and snipped away to give her a side parted bob haircut.

Charlie stared at herself in the mirror. “Wow, I look like a totally different person.” She felt like her identity was stolen from the lack of red cheeks.

“You’re welcome.” Angel put down three sunglasses for her to choose.

“I don’t think I ever said this, but I’m kinda envious that you know how to do this. Growing up, we had servants who did my family’s makeup. Who taught you how to do yours?”

“My mom. He taught me every survival skill I know.” Angel replied as he wrapped a brown scarf around her.

“He?”

“My mom was a transman. He was the one who taught me both on how to be a lady and a man. We did everything we always wanted to do in secret together. Wearing makeup, secretly shopping for our clothes pretending it was for someone else, playing make believe fantasies where I was the princess and he was the dragon slain by my knight and shining armor.” Angel spoke wistfully as he put on his own casual outfit of the day.

“He sounds lovely.”

Angel sadly smiled, “He is. He’s here in Hell, or I hope he still is. We haven’t seen each other in two decades.”

“Two decades?!” Charlie barely saw her parents but couldn’t imagine not seeing or hearing from them for that long.

Angel sat down on a second stool in front of the vanity to get his makeup done. “When we dropped down here in Hell, we did whatever the fuck we wanted. Gamble, dance, sing- took every drug known to demon here.” Angel grinned at the memory, “We were happy for the first five decades here, but then things changed after one extermination that caught the attention of a powerful overlord. My father sacrificed his freedom to the overlord, so that I could escape and keep my freedom.”

“Only to end up in the hands of Valentino.”

Angel scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Valentino only got my soul under contract because he was the only way into the porn business. That pube lice could never really hold someone like me down, but he was my pimp so I had to play submissive and dumb from time to time.”

Charlie furrowed her brows at that. She remembered back when they fought with Valentino for Angel who had been forced to never come back to the hotel.

Angel noticed her look, “What?”

“Oh, nothing. It’s just...I might’ve imagined a different way you got under Valentino’s contract, but you willingly signed a contract with him to become a porn star?”

Angel blinked at her. The two have known each other for two years, but apparently, they still had a lot to share. Then again Angel wasn’t one to really share much about himself, and Charlie had always been too busy with the hotel that the time they did spend together was for childish ranting and having fun.

“What? You thought he saved me from some crisis and in return, I had to be his little porn star?”

Charlie gave him a guilty look, “Yeeeeah...”

Angel burst out laughing, “Holy shit! Is that what the whole hotel thought?!”

“YES!” Charlie defended herself, “Who in their right mind would sign a contract with Valentino without being in crisis!”

“Uh, me.” Angel snorted, “Did all of you really think I was some tragic figure. Look, back then, Valentino did lock me up that one time, but he’s done that before, and then he’d let me go, and I’d be up to my shit again in no time. Valentino can make all the threats he wants, but we both know that I’m too big of a cash cow for him to really do anything to. Besides, if he did do anything other than lock me up like some toy, I would’ve gotten myself out. I always have.”

Charlie became mildly flustered, “You thanked us after we saved you!”

“Yeah, because he was going to lock me up on karaoke night, and I wanted to see Baxter sing so badly! And you know I’m a drama queen!”

“I thought you were in danger! Oh my Grandfather, Alastor almost got killed fighting Vox for you.”

“Wait what?”

Charlie smoothly ignored that slip up and told him, “So you seriously had no problem working for Valentino?”

“A job is a job.” Angel shrugged. “Working for the mafia wasn’t all fun either. What with getting shot at, ganged up on, and dealing with assholes who think their men. Working for Valentino was a step up for me.”

Charlie was reeling in all this new information that completely dissolved her image of Angel as the helpless poor prostitute who needed saving. But the truth was that he was a willing prostitute who just got out of an inconvenient lifestyle that collided with his at the hotel.

She dropped her face in her hands.

“Awwww, did I ruin your image of me?” Angel wrapped his arms around her.

“Yes. Yes you did.” She folded her fingers, placing them against her lips. “This whole time I thought you were baby, but this whole time you were the side child with the double life no one knew about.”

Angel burst out laughing again, “Blame my mom for that. He didn’t raise no- Moonmoon?”

“Moonmoon?” Charlie tried to think of what slang that was, but then Angel abruptly got up from his seat and walked over to the bedroom window where a small blue dragon was. Angel opened the window, and scooped the dragon into his arms.

“Hot fuck, Moonmoon, it’s really you!” The dragon chirped happily and then spit a rolled up letter in his face. He opened it by using his second set of arms. Charlie walked over to him, hoping for a peek but then the letter disintegrated once Angel lifted his gaze. She jumped when he turned around with an urgent expression, “Charlie! Change of plans! We’re going vintage shopping!”

“What? Why?”

“He’s coming! Mom’s coming!”


	2. I Am Your Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this story during the holiday months was a mistake. I work in retail.
> 
> Also Angel will be referred to as “her” and other given female pronouns from time to time since Angel is genderfluid.
> 
> And the format is a bit different with double spacing to make reading it less, uhm, intimidating.

_**About Three Years Ago** _

Rudy, the mother of Angel Dust, stomped on the throat of an exterminator. He removed their mask to take hold of their tongue and rip it out. The angel screamed as they tried to fly away, but spears were pierced deep into its abdomen and there wasn’t much feathers left in its wings. They took a last ditch effort at clawing at the man’s legs, but their nails just combed through the pink hair. Rudy watched it desperately cling to their own life until they fell limp beneath his foot.

He sighed, turning away to look at the plentiful bodies of other exterminators he killed with ease. He searched through the pile before calling out, “Moonmoon?”

The Pomeranian paused chewing on one of the angel’s arms and leaped on its little feet towards the pink spider. They stopped at the feet and looked up at the ten foot tall man. Rudy gave a small sharp toothy smile down at the little shapeshifter with his eight pink eyes surrounded by black sclera. He had three small eyes on the right side of his face, one big one on the left, and two sets of two eyes beneath them, looking more like freckles.

He bent down, scooping the little dog into his arms. He sighed again but with less agitation as he walked on the corpses, “Will they ever learn, Moonmoon? They thought they could get the drop on me this time by coming a day earlier with a wild card, but no matter how many they send, they all fall.” He stopped to see an angel awake from its death and breathe without its mask. Its skin darkened into red as its multiple eyes either fell out or evolved into something wretched and new. The other angels began to breathe and take on their new demonic forms that lacked the brain or personality they must’ve once had. Rudy smirked and then walked again with a satisfied, “One by one, they all fall.”

He then leaned forward to enter through a garden’s archway, and paused when an apple fell in front of him. He looked up to see little reptilian demons at the apple tree branches staring back at him with fear in their eyes. He wasn’t going to hurt them, but the blood on his once prim and proper outfit must’ve scared them. He used his demonic power to fix the tears on his tux fit for a butler.

He then continued on his merry way, being careful as to not get in the way of the reptilian demons’ apple pickings that were thrown into well woven baskets, and then carried to a truck that was to send it to the factory that also happened to be Lucifer’s home.

Rudy stopped by the squirrel demon who was checking things off her clipboard by the trucks. “Rudy, how nice of you t-t-t-too drop by.” She said dryly. “Had fun dealing with th-th-those pests who even dared to tr-tr-trample over Lucifer’s apple garden?”

“They were easy to deal with, Abedabun. They tried sending a trickster in this time. Someone who could warp reality beyond its reaches by making a joke out of it, but they fail to realize that just because I don’t make a grand show of myself doesn’t mean I’m not a trickster too.”

“So I t-t-take it th-that you trick-cked the trick-ckster into betraying the angels.”

“No. Too predictable.” he shook his head, “I simply gave them an apple and gave them a question, and now they’re more obsessed with that than trying to kill me. Oh the wonderful works of ADHD, am I right.”

Abedabun just rolled her eyes, and then there was a phone jingle. “It’s Lucifer.” She kept the phone at arms length before answering. The King instantaneously ranted off, practically summoning his own demons out of the abused phone’s speaker that it vibrated uncontrollably.

“RUUUUUUDYYYYYYYY!” The King cried out at the end of it.

Abedabun immediately said afterwards in the driest tone she had, “I’ll bring him over my lord.” She hung up without a second to spare.

The called for man chuckled, “It looks like the King and his princess is having another fight.”

“Ugh. She’s already a grown woman. When will he let-t-t her leave and have a life?” She massaged her right temple.

Rudy sympathetically replied, “It’s not the easiest thing to do when you dearly love them. I wasn’t able to let go of my dearest Angel until I had no choice but to do so.”

“Please spare me your regrets, and get into the tree.” The squirrel demon lifted her hand and sliced it off with her clipboard. The dismembered hand shapeshifted into a squirrel that ran towards a tree, and then leaped into the bark to twist it into a portal.

“Will you at least spare me your well wishes?”

“Fuck off.”

Rudy took that with a soft smirk before entering the portal that led him to the front doors of Lucifer’s castle since portals that aren’t conjured by the Magne family within the property was forbidden. He looked up at the golden M symbol on the electric gate that split in half as it opened for him. Moonmoon immediately took on the form of a dragon and flew off to do their own thing.

Rudy simply walked in and the first thing he heard was music sweetly welcoming him. The uncomfortable weather outside suddenly washed away into a perfectly warm weather with soft crisp winds as if he was walking along a beach. He looked up at the blue sky filled with the fluffiest clouds without a sun in sight, yet the yard surrounding him was still lush with greens and a rainbow of flowers that none of Hell could ever have. Statues of the Magne family and other beautiful art also filled the place, making it look like Heaven in Hell ironically. The mansion itself before him was an absolutely gorgeous castle, and it was even more green and beautiful within as if entering a fantasy. All of this masked the factory works behind it of course.

Rudy cared none for that, and simply made his way to Lucifer’s office where the little goats quickly opened it up for him. Before he could turn to the doors, Lilith was already on her way out with an immensely relieved smile, “Rudy, thank hell you’re here! Luci is in one of his moods again after arguing with Charlie.”

The spider didn’t let his soft smirk falter, “Isn’t he always after one argument. But tell me, how bad is it this time?”

The two walked back into the office where Lucifer was crying and sniffling on his desk. The queen replied, “You could probably call this the worse it has ever been. Charlie somehow conjured the oddest aspiration to open a hotel to rehabilitate demons for redemption, thinking it would be a far better option than yearly exterminations.”

“AND IT’S NOT!” Lucifer slammed his fists on his desk, and then teleported to Rudy. The spider didn’t flinch when his tux was pulled apart so that Lucifer could plant his face into his fluffy chest. The king looked so thin and small compared to Rudy’s tall and broad shouldered stature that it was a little difficult to think that this sniffling man was the all-powerful Hell King that everyone feared.

Rudy looked over to Lilith who held her aching head up with her hand. She loved her husband, but there was only so much she could bear.

Lucifer soon let him go to walk as he ranted, “HOW COULD SHE THINK OF SOMETHING SO RETARDED! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!” He turned to the spider, “YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE HER NANNY!”

Rudy grimaced at the accusation, but didn’t reply, knowing full well that his king was being overwhelmingly dramatic. Instead he sauntered over to his desk where he saw the latest Playboy demon magazine where Angel was once again at the front page. He smiled softly at the sight of his son thriving in the porn industry.

“DON’T IGNORE ME!” Lucifer looked like he was about to cry again, and Lilith was about ready to leave.

Rudy chuckled, taking the magazine into his hand and flipping through the pages to see more pictures of his son. It’s very weird for a parent to look at pictures of their child in a porn mag, but it was one of the only few ways Rudy could ever get to see Angel. One could only do with what they could get.

And so as he did, he replied to the flustered king, “I say just let her do it.”

“WHAT?!” Both parents cried out. One out of anger and the other out of shock.

Rudy didn’t back down as he leaned against the desk to get more comfortable, “All I see is Charlie doing exactly what her parents have done in the past: Rebel against the highest authority. You both rebelled against your respective roles against the Lord Almighty, and in Charlie’s case, you’re her Lord Almighty. She’s just going about it in a way that would be disapproving for you which would be the opposite for the Big Man.”

The parents glared at him, yet looked at each other with a thoughtful expression.

“He makes a good point.” Lilith said.

Lucifer growled, “But it’s still a waste of time! We’ve shown her the true colors of mankind which is why we have the exterminations in the first place! If she wanted to rebel, she should’ve chosen something more productive instead of wasting everyone’s time! How could she still be so naive?! And not only is she naive, she’s weak! She refuses to uses the full extent of her damn-given demonic powers, and painfully lacks a proper backbone to not take shit from other demons! How in the nine realms of Hell could she think she could even handle managing a hotel much less a rehabilitating one!”

“I think she’s more than capable. It’s simply that you never given her the chance to truly own up to any challenges beyond both of your comfort zones.” Rudy silently told the picture of his son that he loved him before placing the magazine back on the desk.

“Excuse me?” Lucifer looked ready to erase the spider from existence, but Rudy remained cool just like how he had arrived.

“Charlie has been well protected from the scrutiny of her people, and has been taught core morals not fit for a Hell Princess. And perhaps that may be the key element for her to achieve her dreams. Sorry, Luci, but I’m on Charlie’s side this time. I believe that she can redeem a demon, and well,” He gave a cheeky smile when he challenged, “I’ll bet my _**freedom**_ on that.”

Those words released a heaviness in the room that even Lilith went wide eyed with fear. She wanted to back away from her husband who glowered heatedly at the spider who did not falter.

Rudy, with his suicidal carelessness, pushed on, “Let’s make a new deal that overrides the old one.” He dared to walk over to Lucifer, “If your daughter successfully redeems a demon, then I am permanently free from your servitude. And if she gives up, well then, I will remain in your servitude permanently. And perhaps due to this social experiment, Charlie will come back as a new woman who will embrace her role as Hell’s one true princess.” Moonmoon flew into the room just in time as rock and roll music began to fill the room, and took on the form of Charlie. “Because nothing makes a bitch than cold-hearted reality.”

Rudy began singing to the beat about how Charlie grew up in a heavenly home in Hell, and now needed a taste of the scummiest, bitchiest demons in order to become the Hell born demon she was meant to be. He made use of dancing all across the office with Moonmoon shapeshifting into different forms to bring about more flare and clarification.

He took Lilith into a swing dance, which had Lucifer finally approach him, looking ready to kill, but Rudy smoothly took him into his arms and swayed the man as the music eased up so he could sing softly, “I know I place my freedom on the line~ But darling, what’s a better deal than high stakes in mind~ Is redemption possible~ For you, not at ALL~ Right?”

Lucifer glared up at Rudy, but he wasn’t as angry as he was earlier. He spoke flatly against the music as they danced, “I don’t. The only chance of redemption they had was the life before they ended up here.”

“Then there shouldn’t be a problem.” Rudy gave the king a reassuring look, “Charlie is a grown woman who hadn’t found any passions in life compared to the two of you. And it’s a crime that she was such a good girl as a teenager. This is simply the rebellious phase she missed out on in those years.”

“I...” Lucifer grimaced at his next words, “I just don’t want her to get hurt.”

Rudy let the music pause when their feet stopped, “Pain is vital for growth. May it be in the form of physical suffering or vain disappointment. It’s better than holding resentment towards you as if you are more her captor than her father.” The spider led them to the man’s chair where he took a seat and put Lucifer on his lap. The fallen archangel took comfort in his chest fluff.

Lilith came over, taking a seat on the desk, “Lucifer, I’m beginning to agree with Rudy. This could end up being the best for Charlie. We have been shielding her from the true realities of Hell which made her soft.”

Lucifer crossed his arms, but he felt his resolve crumble. If he truly loved his daughter, he had to let her go. “Fine! But I won’t make it easy for her! She has to do everything on her own!”

“Perfect. Then I take it that you agree with our new deal over my freedom.” He whispered with vague love, “Once she loses, I will be truly yours forever.”

Lucifer slightly perked at that last sentence. He never truly lost a deal with high stakes like this, but he hated how Rudy dared to try to make a deal with him despite being nothing more than a servant of his. True that Rudy had been more of a right-hand man/ ~~unrequited love~~ /family mediator/piece of eye candy to him, but he was still just a servant dammit!

Yet Rudy added, “It’s also to make sure that none of us get in the way of Charlie’s dream.”

“Excuse me?” The parents said in unison.

“One word: Overprotective...if not a bit too controlling. You can’t look me in the eye and tell me that none of us in this room won’t go out there and manipulate what goes on with her hotel.” He smirked at both parents who looked called out.

“So with your freedom on the line, that is just reassurance to keep me from getting in between my daughter’s affairs.” Lucifer surmised.

“I do believe redemption is possible, especially through someone as well raised as Charlie, but just because it’s possible, doesn’t mean it’s easily doable. It may take centuries for Charlie to ever truly gain the ability to redeem someone, but her stubbornness and faith can only go so far. If she comes to that conclusion all by herself, then she would come to a more organic growth in her character. It is a risk, an insane one, but the most fun comes from them.”

Lucifer and Lilith thought over his words, and then looked at each other. Lucifer got off Rudy’s lap, and the other two stood up with him. Rudy had Moonmoon who took on the form of a pig spit out a contract that landed on the desk.

Rudy proclaimed, “So to repeat, the three of us agree that we will let Charlie open up a hotel for redemption, but none of us will partake in its business and manipulate its affairs. However visits are allowed. In that case minor manipulation that does not serve to put a demon through relapse or push them further on the course of redemption, especially if it is not magic invoked is passable. If any of you two were to break the rules of this contract then I am free, but if I do it, then I am permanently yours.” He then added, “And to make things even more interesting is that if I do regain my freedom, then you cannot win it back. I am to be permanently free from you, and you cannot retaliate by harming me or the people I care about.”

“Really?” Lucifer sneered at him.

“I’d be a fool if I didn’t take precaution.” he playfully smirked, showing that he wasn’t really taking any of this as seriously as he probably should since the one thing he craved for was within grasp, “Now do we have a deal?”

Lilith didn’t hesitate to agree since she just wanted the matter settled with. Lucifer wanted the same thing, though reluctant that it came to this conclusion. But for the sake of Charlie’s happiness, the three signed the contract. It then turned into energy that wrapped around their bodies and then dissolved into them.

With that settled, they agreed to tell Charlie tomorrow over breakfast of their decision. Lucifer then respectfully asked Lilith to give him and Rudy privacy to talk. Lilith allowed it with a knowing smirk before excusing herself from the room with Moonmoon tagging along.

The next thing Rudy knew, he was pinned down to the floor by the King’s apple staff. The spider choked for air as the staff was forced down his throat, yet he didn’t fight to live. He kept his hands relaxed on the floor.

Lucifer growled viciously on top of him, “Who are YOU to dare bargain for your freedom after everything we’ve given you?!” He conjured malicious beasts with nailed bats, clubs, flails, mauls and all other kinds of weapons that were used to bludgeon him without mercy. There was hard wet smacks and bone shivering cracks echoing into a white noise in the room.

Lucifer continued to stitch and glue him together so that the torture would continue until the King himself was satisfied. It took hours before the sounds finally came to an end. Rudy was still conscious after all that as he felt his shredded and tendered flesh being reformed back to normal. Lucifer was purposefully making it a painfully slow process, and this treatment did make Rudy think back to his downfall.

_At the beginning, Rudy and Angel had been able to live in Hell avoiding the exterminations for the last thirty-five years while traveling all throughout the realm, discovering all its different demented faces. However one New Years Eve, they were caught by an Overlord’s wrath that put them at the mercy of the exterminators. Rudy for the first time unleashed his utter destructive wrath upon the exterminators and the overlord to protect his Angel. This was the first time time any demon had murdered a holy being._

_Rudy and Angel were captured by Lucifer and Lilith quickly after that. The royals then conversed with one of the exterminators about their punishment. Rudy and Angel were prepared for their death, but to their surprise they were sentenced to The Hole, which was an underground cavern where the most dangerous demons resided in. They expected the worse from such a place, and they weren’t far off their mark, but despite being a whole new and far more dastardly world, the two spiders made this place their new home. Eventually they found a way out of The Hole, but they only took the route whenever they wanted a vacation._

Rudy’s half formed mouth smiled at the memory of his Angel who was born a man, but with demonic magic, took on the form of a woman in order to balance out the testosterone between them. He could remember the way Angel’s voice filled the darkness of their new home; the way their songs would echo and bring about music from the other demons. Hell could take heaps out of them, but had hands far too big to collect the little moments from them.

_Yet the downfall began when the fearful exterminators decided to deal with the demons underground by drowning them in holy water. Rudy and Angel had luckily caught wind of this through being at a bar where one of Lucifer’s servants was gossiping about it. Angel seduced the guy to come with him to a hotel where the two beat him for further information._

_After getting what they needed, Angel panicked. It was one thing to fight against exterminators, but it was another to fight nature itself. Rudy calmed her down, reassuring her that they could come up with something since the next extermination was a month away. They went back home and planned with the other leaders of possible ways to survive this, only to come up with the obvious agreed conclusion that none of them would. So like any rightful violent creature of chaos, they broke through the Hole on the exact minute on New Years Eve, and caused chaos throughout the entirety of Hell._

_It was an apocalypse between Heaven and Hell, and Heaven didn’t win this one. Once again, Rudy succeeded in being the first to lead a battle where all of the exterminators that day died unsuccessful in completing their genocide quota. But this victory was to never be known once Lucifer joined the aftermath, and wiped out a majority of the demons from The Hole in order to appease Heaven from initiating another war._

_Others were able to escape, and Rudy wanted Angel to go with them, but Angel stayed by his side, not fearing death. The two were then bought forth before Lucifer and Lilith like before, but this time with an archangel who went by the name Raguel._

_Lucifer was more than ready to kill them to end the matter, but Raguel rejected that. They were the archangel of fairness, and they were fair to all, even to demons. Rudy’s war with the exterminators was sound due to the fact that the residents of The Hole were retaliating against a genocide that they couldn’t win. Lucifer inquired of what was to be done then if death wasn’t on the plate? Raguel simply replied that nothing was to be done. True that they had lost family, and was saddened by that, but he can’t punish those who acted in self-defense._

_The archangel walked over to the two spiders. Angel got in front of Rudy who would’ve done the same, but was still exhausted and injured from the battle. Angel told the angel straight up, “You should just kill us.” She stepped back a little when they got closer, but she still spoke up, “If not you, your siblings will do it since they’re not about playing fair like you do. If you don’t, then you are punishing us. Keep your word, judge. C’mon.”_

_Raguel stopped before Angel. The demon feared the pain from being so close to a heavenly being that glowed, but she discovered that the light radiating from the angel felt soothing. They replied, “Any form of kindness from me is always in some way a form of cruelty. If you were to die now, your father behind you will never forgive himself in his last seconds. You still have so much to discover, so much to live for, even in a wretched realm such as this. We don’t have to be dramatic. Simply honest.”_

“ _...Angel.” Rudy felt his heart clench when his daughter turned around with worried eyes. “He’s right. I am prepared for death, but I am not okay with it if you are dragged, too.”_

“ _Neither am I, but there’s no way that they would let us walk out after this. Exterminators could be waiting outside those doors. We can’t trust any of these guys.” She looked down in disdain._

_Rudy softly smirked at his Angel. “I have a good feeling we can trust this one.” He looked up to Raguel, “Despite my demonic form, I have made and then lost many friends by the King’s and the exterminator’s wrath. Can I look for compensation for that?”_

“ _It depends on what you ask for?”_

_Rudy’s smile widened a little as he answered, “I only ask that my Angel be escorted safely from here and unto Pentagon City.”_

“ _Mom!”_

“ _We’ve talked about this last night and the many nights before that, Angel. If there’s any possibility that you could continue to live your life, continue to discover more of Hell, then we would take it.” He then softly whispered, “And if I were to die-”_

_Angel whispered back in a hiss, “And if something happens where it’s not going to be the case...”_

“ _That’s impossible since it’s the definition of who we are. Angel...I’m a very simple mother. My happiness lives through you. They can tear me to pieces, dig through my chest, dig through my soul to its deepest core, but they can never truly destroy me. Not as long as you are thriving.” Rudy still smiled despite the tears falling down his face, “I held you back when we were alive-”_

“ _You taught me to survive.” Angel gulped down the lump in his throat._

“ _And it’s time for you to be independent once again from your mother. I want you to thrive. I need you to thrive, even in the most mudane ways. Just have fun, and if fate will allow it, perhaps you will tell me a century later about it.”_

_Angel took a shaky breath, “You always said to have more faith...I don’t want to lose you, but I guess if we went through with death, we’d lose us. Promise me that whatever happens next, you’ll still carry the beat and I will too.”_

_Rudy nodded, “I’m your man.”_

_Angel nodded back, and gave his mother a kiss like she would back when she was a young boy. She turned around, having her form turn back into a man. He looked up to Raguel who scooped the spider up princess style, and then they turned to Lucifer and Lilith, “It was pleasant meeting the two of you again.”_

“ _Put a cork in it, Raggy.” Lucifer snapped._

_The angel turned away to the doors, and took on the form of a basic demon creature to prevent drawing attention. Then again, considering the destruction left by the battle, it wouldn’t be that hard._

_Rudy told Angel, “Ti voglio tanto bene angelo mio.”_

_Angel replied back the same, “Ti voglio tanto bene mamma mio.”_

_Raguel flew immediately afterwards, and both spiders felt their breath taken away by the gust of wind from those wings._

_Lucifer and Lilith who had a baby girl empathized with Rudy’s love and protection for his child, but despite that and Raguel’s words, Rudy had to be bought down a peg to send a message to the survivors. They stripped Rudy of his male gender, and chained him in a dungeon where his torture and humiliation was broadcasted. He had been “killed” several times throughout the entirety of the first month of the year. The royals however spared him mercy by destroying the recordings and with their magic, all recordings made by others was immediately burned to a crisp. This was to give Angel the mercy of never witnessing it, having spent the first month recovering from the battle._

_Rudy was then imprisoned inside the freezing lake in Lucifer’s backyard where other prisoners suffered the never ending sensation of being pierced by needles throughout their bodies by the cold while drowning to death. Rudy coped with the situation through looking back on almost a century work of memories. He could replay the ones he had with Angel over and over again, which helped him meditate through the pain and suffocation as if he was simply an injured soldier being lulled to sleep._

_He thought he was to be stuck their for decades, but on the early hours of New Years Eve, he heard a child singing. He thought he was hallucinating, but when he looked up, he saw a child’s feet on the lake’s floating glass._

_Rudy panicked for the child, and called upon his raw demonic magic that came in the form of Moonmoon to break through the prison and float back up to the surface. He saw the child at the other side of the lake, entering the forest. He looked up to see exterminators making their way down to strike anyone, including the royals. He used his magic to warm his legs quickly, and then leaped towards the child. He had Moonmoon wrap a cloak around his naked female body, and then began sweetly singing as he approached the little girl._

_She turned around, and only an idiot wouldn’t recognize those red cheeks to belong to the King himself. He sweetly spoke like the mother he was, hoping his frail appearance won’t scare her off, “Why hello there my dear. What are you doing out this early in the morning?”_

_The little girl didn’t look alarmed at all, which worried the mother. “Oh! Hello! I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I could go to my secret hideout nearby! My parents told me not to leave the house, but I forgot my favorite goat in there, and I can’t sleep without her!”_

_Rudy wanted to strangle both Charlie’s parents and whoever was supposed to keep an eye on her. He had Moonmoon multiply themselves to fetch that goat stuff animal._

_He took a deep breath, “Well dear, I fear that your little goat may have came out of your hideout and got buried underneath all this snow.” The little girl gasped in horror. “But!” Rudy quickly added, “I know a special song to bring him back. Won’t you sing it with me?”_

“ _Yes! Anything to get Mr. Dead-on-arrival!” Charlie’s eyes sparkled with hope and determination._

_Rudy covered his face with one hand at the dark cuteness. He took another breath, and gave the princess a smile. Jingle music began to play, and he sang with a deep soulful voice he forced out of his female mezzo-soprano voice. He didn’t sing this deep as a man, but neither had he sang as light as his woman voice would naturally go._

_Charlie was starstruck, and began singing along with him once she caught onto the rhythm of it. The two sang about the joys of playing in the snow with a dear friend, and it shifted once Moonmoon got the goat plush doll to a slower beat that lulled the princess to sleep on one of Moonmoon’s clones that took on the form of a dog bed, and another took on the form of a shield that kept her silent warmth._

_Rudy sighed in relief since they did it just in time before the exterminators found them. It took quite a few hours, but afterwards Rudy who was drenched in the warm blood of the exterminators walked beside Moonmoon with the sleeping Charlie made their way back to the castle. From there, Moonmoon with the princess left Rudy to his own devices in order to find her room and put her properly in bed._

_The spider scared one of the maids that was minding her own business cleaning, and kindly asked her to tell him who was supposed to be watching over the sleeping princess. He grabbed her face roughly to cover her mouth from uttering a scream. He sweetly threatened that if she screamed, then he would pull out her eyes, bite off her nose, rip off her arms and melt her skin til she was unidentifiable but still mobile since he only needed her to listen, tell him what he needs, and then walk them to their destination. He asked if she understood, and she nodded immediately._

_He then asked sweetly again, who was supposed to watch over the princess to make sure she was safe in her room at all times. After removing his hand, the maid whispered that it was supposed to be the nanny who was supposed to check her every half hour, and quickly led the way towards the nanny who was sleeping soundly in her lover’s arms instead of dutifully sitting by the princess’s bed chamber._

_He grabbed her and her lover by their mouths and dragged their frantically protesting bodies to Lucifer and Lilith’s bedroom. Moonmoon appeared by his side and knocked the guards away so that Rudy could kick the doors open and appreciated the echoing bang that woke up the royals who were shocked that someone would dare wake them. Lilith was about to commit murder for her beauty sleep being disturbed, but the rage was washed over with confusion when Charlie’s nanny and one of her servants was thrown at the edge of their bed._

_Rudy had planned on his words, but the exhaustion from exerting himself to save Charlie’s life finally wracked his frail body. He simply told them, “Princess Charlie needs a new nanny, and tell her after she wakes up to have a closer hideout that doesn’t require her to walk over the lake as a short cut.” He quickly walked away to get back to the lake. It was stupid to go back to his prison, but it was the only place he could get to with a sense of belonging._

_Once there, he had Moonmoon once again hibernate within his chest fur, and then dropped himself into the lake where he blacked out. When he woke up, he remained completely still, not letting himself pathetically try to breathe underwater. But that meditative suicidal state was interrupted by a hit to the gut._

“ _OOF!” He gasped for breath and then sat up immediately, wondering what the fuck went wrong._

“ _HI!” Charlie greeted him at his lap. “My name is Charlotte, but you can call me Charlie! What’s your name?”_

_Rudy stared at the child in disbelief. He looked around, realizing that he was in one of the castle’s many bedrooms, and this one had a pastel yellow and white colored theme. Small carnations and roses decorated the place, and there was a glass doorway with a tall almost triangular shape led to the balcony that led in quite an odd heavenly light._

“ _It’s manners to tell the princess your name.” Lucifer came into view with Lilith by his side._

_Rudy was still speechless. He looked down at his lap, and noticed the lack of huge badonkers were gone. He looked underneath the blanket and his pants to see that he was in fact in his body again. He lied back down on the bed, wondering if any of this was real._

_Charlie crawled on top of him, looking worried. “Hey, are you okay? Are you sick?” She placed her small hand on his forehead. “Oh! You’re really warm! Dad, I think he’s sick!”_

“ _We did rescue him from freezing in our lake.” Lucifer smiled preciously at his daughter. “He did after all do us quite the favor.” The king took his daughter into his arms. Lilith looked down at him with a sincere face of love and understanding._

“ _Dad! You’ve been doing this all morning! You were even in my bed! I need to breathe!”_

“ _I know, darling. I know.” Lucifer sniffled, not letting his daughter go._

_It wasn’t hard for Rudy to connect the dots, and he felt himself calm down. Lilith let her loved ones leave the room. Charlie protested, wanting to know who the man was, but Lilith reassured her that she will another time. The mother closed the door on them, and then took a seat by Rudy._

“ _We rarely ever say this to anyone, but we are truly grateful for what you have done for our daughter. However, as grateful as we are, we can’t give you the one thing you obviously want since what you led before would’ve ended all of us in the first place.”_

_Rudy figured, but he still inquired, “Then what can I have in return?”_

“ _You will no longer be a prisoner in the lake, but you will become a servant of ours under contract. In fact, we were wondering if you would like to become Charlie’s new nanny since we are looking for someone to replace the old one.”_

_Rudy was glad to hear the latter part of that. Still he questioned, “You would put that much faith in me after one night?”_

_Lilith pointed out matter-of-factly, “You killed a platoon of exterminators just minutes after freeing yourself from what was supposed to be a never-ending torturing ice-water prison. You did this weighing less than ten pounds with scars from the brutality that Lucifer and I did to you. You could’ve ignored our daughter to save yourself from permanent death and gain your revenge from us, but you put your life at risk for her just because.”_

_Rudy took a deep breath, loving the way his chest rose. “I could raise her to hate you.” He sat up, and got on his feet. He walked over to the full length standing mirror to see that he had been given back his muscle. “I could raise her to resent Hell. Bring about the worse in her. And you could kill me for it, but the damage would’ve been done, and if you play with your daughter’s head to suit your comfort, it could damage her further.”_

_He turned to Lilith who smiled at him knowingly. She didn’t waste time to get into the hypothetical when she could clearly see through the spider. She conjured a contract that Rudy signed without a needless argument._

“ _Welcome to the family, Rudy.”_

Rudy woke up from his reminiscing to find himself fully healed but naked and on a familiar mattress. Lucifer was lying on his chest, sleeping soundly in the adorable funny pajamas that Lilith and Charlie picked out for him on Krampus Day.

The spider sighed in his situation. He had been a good nanny for Charlie until she turned thirteen, and remained a dutiful servant to the family for the years to follow. He was able to develop a friendship with Lilith, but with Lucifer, it became complicated.

He was an asexual-aromantic. He knew who he was before his marriage with Henroin, so he could proudly say that he never slept with the man. He just had the bastard cum in a cup, and the turkey baster did the work. He never planned on sleeping with anyone, even if it proved to be the easier route to get what he wanted. He also never was interested in falling in love, and couldn’t fathom ever doing so for anyone. The only intimate romantic thing he was willing to do was flirt, and he actually liked flirting. It was the best middle ground between complimenting and teasing, and it was fun to see the reactions of others. But he always made sure to be blunt that he wasn’t interested in relationships, quick or long, so as to not cause misunderstanding.

That didn’t prevent many from falling for him, and unluckily, one of them was Lucifer. Rudy thought he could flirt away with the King since he was a married man. It was even fun since Lucifer would laugh and playfully flirt back, but Rudy came to the horrifying realization that not only did the married man fall for him, but Lilith, the succubus she was, was fine and even supportive of it.

Rudy immediately backed off, and tried to keep things friendly between the two. But Lucifer, being like the peacock he was, tried to show off to Rudy and lavish the spider with whatever he desired. Rudy rejected each display of romantic affection and gifts to the point of even running away back into the safety of Charlie’s room. When he came to the realization that the devil wouldn’t take the hint, he outright told Lucifer that he can’t and he won’t requite his feelings naturally.

But that didn’t help since Lucifer already knew that, but he had feelings, and they had to be expressed and acted upon, so the man just selfishly did whatever he liked. With that reasoning, Rudy thought he could endure being a toy for affection since he was a servant. But then he should’ve known things would proceed to get worse overtime. Lucifer wasn’t outright violently abusive towards him for his rejection, but he was very possessive if not a little obsessive. The more Rudy pulled away, the more Lucifer clung to him, even taking up the spider’s time away from Charlie until Lilith had to intervene.

It strained their odd master-servant-friendship, that Rudy wasn’t surprised by the violent onslaught placed on him after dangling his freedom in front of Lucifer. He expected it really. Guess he was still high from fighting the exterminators earlier.

  
“Rudy...” Lucifer said as he looked up to see that his servant was awake. He pushed the spider’s lips up with his thumb to see if he had properly healed the man’s teeth. Rudy opened his mouth, feeling his tongue flex.

“It looks like I upset the king earlier. I apologize if I took my joke a little too far.” Rudy wrapped an arm around Lucifer’s waist.

The man placed his forearms on his chest. He huffed, “Lilith and I have definitely let you get away with too much these past twenty years. You could’ve wagered anything else instead of your freedom to get me to not bother in my daughter’s affairs. If you’re dissatisfied here, then you were always free to bring your son here.”

Rudy pushed upward with the pillows to lie a little more upright. “We’ve talked about this before. Sure my son will be glamoured with the perks of living in the castle, but he’d get bored and annoyed by the lack of freedom and risk being under your servitude. And for him to visit on occasion also puts him at risk with exterminators. They don’t actively sought him out now because they believe he lost contact with me, but if we renewed that contact and remain apart, they might do it out of fear of another war battle being planned. I can’t put my son’s life, especially not his livelihood at risk. We both know that.”

“But, and its a HUGE if on my part, if you were to be free, would you be with him? Put him at larger risk by doing that?”

Rudy smiled, “It’d be one Hell of a way to go out. Hmm, perhaps I shouldn’t have made that deal after all since it’s difficult to see you not meddle in your daughter’s affairs.”

“Hey! I respect my daughter’s boundaries!” Lucifer glared at him,

The spider chuckled, “Says the man who needed to be tackled, seduced and sung down to not kill Charlie’s ex-boyfriend.”

“He deserves DEATH for breaking her heart.”

“Charlie knew that he was trouble, but went for it anyway like any dumb teenager would. She was also the one who ended the relationship on her own terms which you need to respect.”

“And I do! I respect my daughter the most, but the way she goes about things are so NAIVE! What in the world have you been teaching her, Rudy!”

“I taught her to be cautious with her actions since everything she does will come with consequences. If she had ended the relationship on bad, violent terms, then the deal between you and his parents wouldn’t have gone as smoothly as it did. As the saying goes, keep your friends closer and your enemies closer.”

Lucifer still grimaced, “She won’t gain some respect at that rate.”

“You’re too impatient, my king.” Rudy smirked, “You and Lilith are eons old with much wisdom and power gained through those years, and Charlie is just in her twenties. To expect her to act the part as Hell’s princess is well _naive_.” Lucifer scrunched his face at him. Rudy defended, “Like I’ve said before, things take time to organically grow into their roles. Patience, Lucifer.” Rudy turned them over, and repeated the word again, but this time it sounded like he was referring to something else, “ _Patience._ ”

Lucifer wrapped his arms around Rudy’s neck. “Well, if you’re offering to teach me how to bide my time to be patie-” The King found himself pulled off the bed, still hanging around Rudy’s neck like a key chain. Rudy walked out of the room, and down the hall to find Lilith and Charlie at the table for breakfast.

“Uhm, dad? Nanny Rudy?” Charlie arched an eyebrow at them.

Lucifer immediately dressed himself up in proper attire before taking his seat at the round table. “I apologize for my tardiness, my beloved daughter! I needed to check up on dear Nanny Rudy after he got injured by the surprise ambush from the exterminators yesterday. Oh you know how they be!”

Rudy turned his face to roll his eyes before he sat down between Lilith and Charlie.

Charlie looked to her nanny worriedly, “But the extermination day is today, not yesterday.”

Rudy replied, “I guess a few got too excited to deal with me.”

“But that still doesn’t make it right! That breaches the deal made between dad and grandfather!”

Lucifer corrected, “Au contraire, the deal was that the exterminators could conduct demon genocide on one day, but as for more private matters, that’s another issue.” After Rudy was made to be their servant, and showed to be willing to kill any exterminator who dared be near the castle, the exterminators demanded that they should be able to execute Rudy. Lucifer wouldn’t allow it, but to put things in a compromise, the exterminators were allowed to try to kill Rudy on the week of and the week after the extermination, but only had one try.

“It’s still wrong! No demon lives should be placed on a plate! Wasn’t Heaven supposed to be about fairness!”

“With how powerful your nanny is, this does balance the scales.” Lilith pointed out. “Are you perhaps rethinking your decision to rehabilitate demons.” It was an innocent question so it didn’t go against the parents and Rudy’s deal.

“No.” Charlie didn’t hesitate to reply. “I guess Heaven do have their reasons. I mean who else is capable of killing an angel.” She looked over to Rudy with an unsure smile. Rudy simply smiled back, encouraging her to continue, “Besides, the only way to stop these yearly exterminations is by handling the population another way, and since reincarnations are off the table, redemption is the only way to go.”

Lucifer wanted to argue, but following through with what was agreed upon, he replied, “Alright.”

“What?” Charlie’s face fell at the impossible.

Lucifer repeated with as much grace as he could possibly muster, “Alright. You may open your hotel, and do whatever you wish with it, but you will have to do it on your own.” Blood started pouring down his mouth.

Lilith place a napkin below his jaw to prevent him from ruining his clothes.

Charlie was still dumbstruck by what she was hearing. She looked to Rudy, and the nanny nodded. “OH MY GRANDFATHER, THANK YOU NANNY RUDY!” She hugged him tightly. Lucifer dropped dead on the table, having Lilith rub his back. “I’m so excited!” Disney music started up as she began singing about how her dreams were beginning and how she would not be beaten down by the insecurity or others!

She danced with Rudy, danced with her mother, and then danced with her father who couldn’t ignore a good musical number. She ended the song with a heartfelt goodbye to her parents and nanny, showing to be actually nervous as much as excited because it would be her first time to go full-on independent. She hugged each of them. Lucifer hugged her the longest until she made him let her go so she could prepare for her travels to Pentagon City since that was Hell’s capital after all.

Lucifer groaned in misery, getting pitty pats on the shoulders by Lilith and Rudy.

._._._.

_**Over Two years Later** _

Lilith and Lucifer were to be on their honeymoon-like vacation traveling around Earth, and were not to be disturbed no matter the case. Rudy and Abedabun were left in charge to watch over the castle while they were gone.

“I hope that the mortals you bed will still be alive afterwards.” Rudy joked with Lilith. The two stood by the car while Lucifer and Abedabun talked business.

“Aren’t I the best way to go out in a bang.” Lilith joked back. She looked over to Lucifer with a loving smile. “He truly is in love with you. I had to use my joystick on him more than he does. Not that I don’t enjoy that.”

Rudy frowned at the woman as he said dryly, “I know. You make me watch almost each and every one of your love making sessions. Besides don’t I cuddle him enough in bed in the afterglow of your love making.”

Lilith giggled, “Not at all. Maybe I still hold out hope that you may love him in return since I thought I was the same as you romantic-wise.”

“I don’t think it’s that hard to fathom you falling in love with a man who respects you as an equal. But that doesn’t work on me. Maybe there is someone out there that can reveal the demi in me, I’ll give you that, but even now, not a chance.”

“What if he handed you your freedom and your son to live happily here in Hell?” She challenged.

Rudy smirked with an indescribable glow in his pink eyes. “Only mere gratitude. Maybe I’ll allow him to ride me for that.”

Lilith smirked at him. She then leaned in close, getting on her tiptoes, “If that’s the prize, perhaps I’ll do it myself.” She kissed him on the cheek, leaving a perfect black kiss mark there.

Rudy kidded, “For you my dear, I’d give it for free.” Lilith gave him a sharp smirk with a raised eyebrow.

Lucifer cleared his throat, “What are my two-out-of-three most favorite people discussing about so intimately?!”

“What do you think we’re discussing about?” Lilith inquired, wrapping her arms around Rudy’s neck, and Rudy wrapped his arm around her waist.

“Rubors!”

The taller two gawked at him. Lilith then found herself uncontrollably laughing herself into ugly snorts and wheezes. Rudy covered his face by the utter lame yet perfectly delivered word, not sure of how to properly react to such idiotic cuteness.

“Thank you. Thank you.” Lucifer bowed down for each thank you.

Rudy shook his head, and then told him, “You’re an insufferable master, but an entertaining one nonetheless when you’re not whining or clingy. Have a good trip, Lucifer.” He bent down and kissed the barely six-foot man on the cheek.

Lucifer was frozen since that was the first time Rudy had ever given him a kiss. His two favorite tall people helped put the man in the passenger seat while Lilith took the wheel. Abedabun and Rudy waved goodbye as the car went through the portal.

The squirrel spoke dryly, “You d-d-do realize you buried your grave for kissing him on the cheek, right-t-t?”

Rudy shrugged, “I guess without Charlie around, I dropped my protective instincts, and grew quite bored.”

The woman rolled her eyes, “If you’re bored, then-n-n help me wi-with the factory.”

And so Rudy helped Abedabun with the factory like normal, but weeks later at the castle’s balcony where he was talking to Abedabun about cheese, Moonmoon took on the form of three spears, and stabbed Rudy through the chest and abdomen. Blood gushed out of his mouth and he fell onto his knees.

“A-angel...” Rudy didn’t struggle against the pain as he felt his life draining away.

Abedabun was frozen stiff, not understanding how Rudy’s long time loyal pet could suddenly kill him like this. She was even more freaked out when some god-like old crone appeared, having Rudy levitate towards her, “Rudy, you have been a loyal follower of mine, even praying to me in your last moments of death. I cannot say the same for your son, but that will save you.” The goddess then bough forth two flame; one black and the other green with gold glittering it. “I have a gift from Pluto and Prosperine. I have told them about your success and downfall from your battle against the exterminators, and so they wished to play a small part in your future.” Moonmoon leaped and swallowed the flames and entered Rudy’s soul just as a beam of light shot out from Heaven onto Hell.

Rudy felt himself revived along with the immense power that shook the castle, but he was able to withhold his power from destroying anything with the help of Moonmoon that bound his body in constraints.

Hecate left him a final message, “In the future, I can see the long awaited apocalypse that was to come through Princess Charlie. Choose wisely and be safe, Rudy.” The woman disappeared.

Rudy landed back onto the balcony, having his restraints removed.

“WHAT THE FUCK!” Abedabun screeched. “What the fuck just happened?! Who was tha-tha-tha-THAT?! What was that beam of light-t-t-t?! Why did Moonmoon try to ki-kill you!”

Rudy chuckled, having his new power change his butler outfit to a simple apple red dress shirt with its top buttons undone. It was tucked into a pair of belted pants and he wore a pair of leather dress shoes. Very sleek and casual. Just the way he liked it.

“It’s a simple story really. I grew up in a catholic family, but never felt like I belonged since I was trans, so I looked towards my ancestors’ roman gods, and found solace in Hecate and studied witchcraft as a result. On the day my Angel died, I revived him into a coma with that witchcraft through connecting our hearts. What you witnessed was me dying because my Angel was being killed, and Moonmoon simply demonstrated why I felt the pain that I did. But it looks like my Angel’s fine now.”

The squirrel demon felt like her shock almost deflated by how smooth and easy that explanation was. She took a deep breath, trying to not lose the grips of her sanity, so thought better than to ask about the apocalypse and how his son survived being speared by very familiar weapons. She instead questioned, “So you’re act-t-tually a pagan, and you only got dragged in-n-nto Hell because your soul is bounded-ded t-to your son’s?”

“Angel wasn’t supposed to be catholic, but as someone who was supposed to succeed the family business, he was duty bound to follow the religion, and despite my strong beliefs, I didn’t want to ruin that for him.”

“...Wow. I know a lot of romanti-ti-tics and dramatic-tic people tell the people the-they love that the-they would go through Hell for the-them, but you literally did it. You LITERALLY went t-t-to Hell for the sake of your son t-t-to not suffer through it alone.” Abedabun wasn’t sure to be amazed by love or the stupidity of it.

“Yup!” Rudy watched as the heavenly light begin to fade away. “And Hecate remains to be my one and true goddess to this day since if she hadn’t given me a piece of her power, I wouldn’t have survived in Hell as long as I did. What with Angel and I being hellions and all that.” Rudy had Moonmoon take on the form of a 1940s mercedes benz. “Now that I’m free, I have business to deal with before I can go meet my Angel once again.” He got into the car, and rowed down the window to lastly say, “Please tell Lucifer and Lilith once they're back that I enjoyed our time together, and can’t wait to see them again twenty years later.” He winked before driving off the balcony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy Fuck that was Long! 
> 
> I just hope that I was able to put Rudy's character down. He's very maternal/paternal of children, and wise and powerful thanks to Hecate, but also incurably flirtatious despite his sexuality, and cocky even in dangerous situations unless Angel is around. 
> 
> I honestly didn't plan on Lucifer having a crush on Rudy since that's like hitting Mary Sue territory, but I found their interactions more funny if that was the case, and funnier by the fact that Lilith is totally down for it. Like Polygamy rights, ya'll!
> 
> Abedabun is also an OC of mine, and she's the Chief Operating officer (COO) of Lucifer's factory with attitude as dry as a desert. She was created to be the outside connection from the Magne family for Rudy during his servitude to get information out in this story. I don't know how much involvement she will have in this story, but I find her charming. 
> 
> Also when Rudy sings, I imagine that he sounds like Michael Buble as a man with that nice baritone voice that can hit those tenor notes. But as a woman, he’s a mezzo-soprano that sings with a deep voice similar to Christina Aguilera, but really wants to be a contralto.
> 
> As for Angel’s singing voice, I imagine that in her female form, she sings like Loren Allred with that clear classical soprano voice that makes her sound angelic. As for his male voice (Bless your heart Kovach) though, he is a tenor like Jeremy Jordan. He’s just really meant for the stage.
> 
> Lastly I don't know why there's a second set of notes below that was meant for the first chapter.


	3. Modern Man, Traditional Baby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: PAST ATTEMPTED RAPE

Alastor sat on a red and white wing chair that seemed to have been fabricated with the bones of a wendigo. All the lights were off except for the light shone through a film projector situated by his side. Unknown to everyone, his monocle would film and his staff would record its audio. He was the radio demon, but he wasn’t against filming if it were for non-entertainment reasons.

And so he sat there, watching with a worn smile of the approaching beam of light that destroyed a city two weeks ago. Nobody at that moment in Hell knew why Heaven suddenly did it, but it was definitely a reminder that despite how Heaven may be boring to their sick twisted minds, it was still a place of immense destructive power to be respected or feared by them.

That fear went rampant, but Charlie was able to hijack Alastor’s radio station and Katie’s tv station, where she unleashed her Hellish wail that shook each and every nerve of their bodies that they became paralyzed, yet listened. She informed everyone that the beam of light was an act of her Grandfather against a demon who dared to harness enough power to reach the gates of Heaven to claim it as their own. It was such a stupid, radical stunt, but it made sense. She then reassured everyone that they weren’t going to be eradicated next, swearing on it as the granddaughter.

Hell calmed down somewhat, leaving a thick tension in the air that changed people, but not all of them. Alastor recovered after Charlie’s announcement since the woman was never truly a good liar. She spoke with conviction and confidence that a true leader would display.

Yet, what did tickle his nerves again, after having spent a week recovering his losses, was when he heard from Husk that Charlie arrived to the hotel before the broadcast to bring Angel to the infirmary. Husk didn’t recognize the spider at all since he was shaved, stabbed, burned and beaten. The gambler had seen plenty of demons tortured, but at least the person doing it kept to one method.

Alastor wanted to see the gruesome state himself, but Charlie had placed a powerful lock on the door. This surprised the voodoo magician since Charlie had always been reluctant to use her powers due to the fact that they could cause immense harm to others. Alastor nearly lost a limb by the mere intent to use his portals to enter.

Charlie came around, having sensed someone trying to break into the infirmary. She looked a little relieved to see that it was Alastor, but remained cautious since this was Alastor. He told her with full honesty that he wanted to see Angel to see how he was doing, and to his alarm, Charlie firmly replied that he can’t see Angel.

“ _Excuse you! What do you mean I can’t see him?! If I must remind you Charlie, I am a co-owner of this establishment and thus it’s part of my rightful duty to check on all guests!” He wanted to sound more threatening, but he was still a bit thrown off that he sounded like a voice message box for his brain._

“ _The answer is still no, Alastor.” She asserted with a deep seated fury in the black irises of her eyes that sharpened as the yellow sclera bled into red. “I know that I am stepping out of bounds as a partner of this establishment, so take these words as not as a fellow associate,” She closed her eyes as she bought her hand up to her chest, “but as a dear friend of Angel Dust.” She took a quick calm breath before her eyelids shot up into a glare, “I have been patient and open-minded with your tricks and your attitude because it was a challenge for me. I never expected redemption to be easy, especially through half-ass positivity and restraint in Hell of all places. But I enabled your bullshit far enough. If you think I’m going to let you into that room to gawk at Angel like some circus outcast, I will rip out your eyes and shove them up your ass until they are sitting into the gut of your stomach that’s as dysfunctional as your conscience. You will not be seeing Angel Dust until he says that you can.” She took one deep breath through the nostrils, feeling the heat rising in her chest, “Leave.”_

_Alastor was affronted by such language.“You better watch how you speak to me, young lady.” The static of his voice thickened with the dark miasma polluted by the cursed markings. “I must say this is a refreshing side of you, but you’re still leagues behind thinking you could possibly take me on.”_

_Charlie frowned at his response, but she released the lock on Angel’s door. “Don’t be mistaken. I will fight you if it means to protect Angel, but not here, not now. Besides you’ve done a lot for Angel. Probably even more than anyone here in this hotel. Me on the other hand, he was kidnapped because of me, and was tortured in front of me.” Charlie kept strong, but needed a moment to reassert that strength, “But Angel wasn’t broken by it. He was just worried...Worried about me and the hotel because the kidnapping happened at a bad time. A bad time that you caused, so I guess some good did come out of it since it distracted Angel from the pain because he truly does care for the people in this hotel. Even you, despite all the slapstick humor that you two have together. So go right ahead in and gawk at him. Just know that it’s a friend you’re looking at.” She turned and walked away._

_Alastor stood there, frozen with his ceaseless smile. Eventually he turned to the door and reached for the unlocked doorknob, yet coward away from it._

Since then, Alastor had been in his radio tower, watching clips of that heavenly beam, but also clips of the past that he selectively chosen to see from time to time. Some were for amusement, others were for blackmail material, and then there were some he just couldn’t quite figure out. A majority that made up for the last reason was Angel Dust. A near century’s worth of clips and just two years with a spider could fill up more space than anyone he’s met.

How could a spider be so clever yet so dumb in the first place? He could come up with the wittiest banter against the radio demon, yet set his tongue on fire by thinking the wetness of his tongue could dampen the flames from the flambe food without consequence. It was a hilarious restaurant scene that bought out the jumping spider of this man.

The radio host sat there at his wing chair switching from the heaven beam to a recording of Angel Dust smiling directly at him with a joke behind those sharp teeth of his. The monocle didn’t miss out on capturing the sparkle in those eyes. He watched from the first time he met Angel Dust to so on. He had recordings of Angel fighting against Sir pretentious and many adversaries. He had recordings of Angel playing pranks on other hotel guests, especially on Baxter who had the most amusing reactions. He had audio recordings of Angel singing to his Fat Nuggets, and they would be songs from the early 1900s that bought back a different feel of nostalgia for the radio demon.

The further he watched, Alastor realized that Angel Dust had changed little by little. His violent clashes with Sir Pentious stopped after his best friend Cherri began dating him, and due to the increase of hotel guests, he was more concerned with getting them out of gunpoint of the adversaries than actually entering the battle for fun. Instead that violent passion had turned more towards video games after Crymini taught him how.

Alastor wasn’t sure of how to feel about that. He knew that Angel seemed to be less entertaining in the way he was used to. Violence was after all the most pleasurable exertion of energy that the both could actually agree on. Yet despite this change, Angel hadn’t lost his luster in the radio demon’s eyes. Instead the spider seemed entertaining in a completely new way, but the deer man just couldn’t put a name to what it was.

He then noted another difference with Angel. The spider liked his drugs that he would never quit, but his usage had lessened more and more that the enthusiasm and passion that he exerted was genuine. Not many had noticed, but Charlie did when she made a comment to him about how she had Fat Nuggets help her locate his drugs. She didn’t take them, wanting the decision to land on Angel Dust, having learned that drug addicts had to overcome themselves first. And so far at the time of that comment, the drugs have not been touched in months. They were eventually used to have a good time with Cherri, but as long as they were used recreationally and not abusively then Charlie gave it a pass.

Again, Alastor just didn’t know how to feel about that. Not that he was interested in Angel’s drug addiction in the first place, but for a key character trait of the spider to change and yet to still be full of life, fun, and beauty, it was so _**odd**_. And it didn’t _bother_ the radio host. Alastor supposed that it was because the change didn’t just happen over night. It’s been almost two years after all, and so much had happened since.

Still...Still why did he have the need to destroy this Angel who seemed to be filled with so much...love, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to do it. The spider was an idiot. He could easily break him. Easily bring Angel back into his laughable empty life surrounded by drugs and johns, but every day would be filled with more dread by the reminder of his failures.

Wasn’t that what he was meant to do there. Bring false hope to the guests, and watch them tumble down, and if any were to get too comfortable and happy, he’d slyly pull the rug beneath them. Why hadn’t he done that to Angel?! The hotel’s freaky mascot is the perfect person to not pull the rug on, but to put the rug over a hole broken into a floor and watch it all come crashing down once Angel set foot on it! At this stage of recovery, Alastor should take advantage of it. Plan the greatest grand finale as Angel sunk back into his pitiful self.

“C’mon, Al!” Alastor jumped out of his thoughts by Angel’s voice. He focused on the screen before him to see the spider dancing the jitterbug to the jazz music at Mimzy’s club. The man foggily remembered that this happened back to when Alastor had to talk to Mimzy so that he could locate a certain someone who kidnapped a guest of the hotel. Charlie and Vaggie followed him to see who his contact was and judge the information for themselves. Angel followed out of curiosity.

The five of them talked at Mimzy’s office, but Angel quickly got bored, so excused himself. The club was closed so no one was around except for the band. He somehow got into the costume room first to put on a flapper dress, and then somehow convinced the band to play jazz music. Vaggie heard the sound so went off to check on Angel, and Charlie soon came after to check on them.

Things only got boisterous that Mimzy and Alastor had to check on the ruckus themselves, and there Angel was throwing the girls here and there as he had his feet drumming on that stage floor like a mad man. His whole body screamed of ecstasy despite being knowingly drug-free. He looked over to Alastor, asking him to join, but the red-headed man was a deer in headlights.

The radio demon knew that as Hell grew further and further away from the past, its oldest residents clung to it, but like many things in Hell, it rotted into its demented form. Everything of the past seemed dirtied and rusted but still functional for good use like anything in a poor worn home. Yet at that moment, Angel bought back that refreshing fun of dancing like a maniac in the 20s. It was such a fresh breath of old smoky air in need of some good whiskey in hand.

Now in the present, Alastor realized why exactly it was that Angel seemed to escape from his twisted schemes. It’s easy to forget since Angel always adapted well into the modern age with his up-to-date slang and understanding of electronics, but at heart, the man was a 1910s baby who lived in New York of all places where the city never slept and the trends would spread across the country. And so Alastor remembered that the heart of the music once heard, the passion of the dance crazes that came and went, and the beauty beheld in the true clothing style of the decade was kept shining and brimming with life through Angel.

Alastor switched the clip to the time Angel sang Pack Up Your Sins and Go to the Devil composed by thee Irving Berlin. Though not sung as the original had been sung, Angel was singing the words with the comedic style and flair of its decade to Niffty.

The context was that Angel got exhausted by seeing her clean all the time, so he convinced her to leave the hotel and go window shopping with him, and the two ended up in Rosie’s emporium. They made use of the band there and Angel sang away, grabbing the attention of the other shoppers. Alastor was coincidentally among them, and was surprised to see his maid outside of the hotel without his instructions to do so. Yet his attention was intently on Angel who displayed the true performer he was. The spider wasn’t even looking for an audience, but he just knew how to swoon them in, bringing them back to their younger times.

After the song ended, Niffty requested for Angel to sing a 50s song, and the clever spider knew the perfect song.

That being ‘I Want To Be Evil’ by Eartha Kitt.

He somehow perfectly caught the personality of a bored, perfect beautiful virgin young woman who wanted to do evil. Though the lyrics was a far too innocent idea of evil, but Angel just knew how to roll those words with such salacious intent that Alastor felt seduced with a mix of panic.

Everyone else who were at first amused, felt inspired to wreak havoc in the classiest way possible. Of course, it had to be outside of the emporium. Even Rosie was charmed despite the disruption, and the two somehow got along really well afterwards. Perhaps it was because Angel actually treated her respectfully with no sexual innuendos or flirting. Alastor sort of envied that, wishing Angel would be civil with him instead of trying to get into his pants.

“ _I’m not gonna have sex with you, Al.”_

Alastor inwardly groaned at the memory of when a female stalker fan of his had somehow been able to drug him without his awareness, and tried to have her way with him. In his groggy state, he threatened to do the worse unimaginable to her after he recovered. Yet to his horror, she planned on putting him in a permanent coma with some wires put into his brain that will force him to speak like a puppet for her amusement. Alastor tried to use his power, but the drug she was using on him blocked that ability.

The radio demon had never felt dread wrack his entire body the way it did when she got on top of him naked, and no matter where he looked, there were mirrors capturing the moment. Closing them just made the entire experience all the more real when he was choked until his body’s response was to have an erection.

To his absolute utter easement, Angel Dust had busted into the room and webbed her onto the wall completely.

Although at first, Alastor didn’t believe this one to be Angel Dust because both of his eyes had black sclera with pink pupils. There was also a brighter sheen to the whiteness of his fur and a hotter pink shade to the spots and hearts on it. If only had he had his monocle on at the time, he would’ve been able to tell if he was hallucinating or not. Thus he just had to tell himself that he was since the next day, Alastor woke up in his own bed at the radio tower with Angel sleeping on a chair against the corner. There hadn’t been a chair in his own bedroom, so Angel must’ve bought one in and chose to be as far as possible as to not set off the traumatized deer.

_Alastor stood up, finding himself clothed in pajamas, which meant that Angel dressed him, but he couldn’t be upset since it did help him feel more comfortable. He found his clothes folded on his nightstand with his monocle and bow on top and his shoes and staff beside it. He took his staff and used his power to swap his clothes._

_He then walked over to Angel,”WAKE UP!”_

“ _AH!” Angel abruptly punched Alastor in the face. Angel gasped for air before realizing what happened, “What the fuck, Alastor! You couldn’t have woken me up like a normal person!”_

“ _Ah, yes. Probably should have.” Alastor held his grin, not at all minding the bruise on his cheek. “But I do have a question for you, my dear fellow! How in the nine realms of Hell did you find me?”_

“ _Oh,” Angel straightened himself up on the seat, “The bitch assaulted me once for being flirty with you, which is stupid cuz, HELLO, I flirt with everyone! It’s my shtick! So like with all other stalkers I deal with, I injected a tracker into the dumb bitch’s arm when I shot her up with a sedative to shut her up. When you’ve been in the porn industry game as long as I have, you have to take those kind of measures with the real crazy ones cuz you never know what they’d do to you. And I always look at my phone to see where they are, and I just so happened to see that bitch actually enter your radio tower. I knew you could deal with it but I still tried to call you to warn you about it at least,” Angel pointed at his staff that also worked as a phone since it was more convenient. “But you weren’t picking up so I came to rescue you.”_

_Alastor stared at Angel, a little stunned, but probably shouldn’t be since the porn industry was a very dangerous entertainment profession. “How gracious of you! Though I don’t know how to feel about the fact that you must’ve bought me here naked since I was not wearing my formal attire when I woke up.”_

_Angel snorted, “I had you wrapped up in my coat. Don’t worry it was washed before anything dirty happened.” He said teasingly. “And you don’t have to worry. I didn’t take any pictures like some sick freak. And I didn’t touch ya more than I had to to get you dressed, Al.”_

“ _Of course not! Because if you did...” His eyes turned into radio dials as the static in the air fizzled._

“ _Geeze, I’m not gonna rape you Al.” Angel replied looking insulted, and surprisingly not at all worried at being threatened by the promise of a bad ending for him. It threw Al off into a confused look. The spider clarified, “I’m not gonna have sex with you, Al. I am in the line of work for sex and I flirt tons with you, but I know how to take no for an answer unlike the other freaks out there.” He stood up and straightened out his clothes. “So relax. See ya later, hot stuff.” he winked before heading for the door._

“ _...Angel.”_

“ _Hm?” The spider looked over his shoulder to him._

“ _Thank you.”_

_Angel smiled at him and then walked out of the door._

Alastor got off his seat, thinking that he needed some exercise, but he wasn’t in the mood to do any radio shows. Not with the current chaos still wreaking havoc that it would just spoil or bore the mood. Instead, he decided to head over to Rosie’s emporium to do some shopping. He was in need of some new ties.

He used his portals to get to the front door, and walked straight ahead to the men’s department the moment he enetered, but stopped at the sound of a familiar voice.

“Ugh! Where are those broads when I need them!”

He turned his head to see a hill of clothes that was being straightened and hung by the zombie cannibal slaves. As the nosy person he was, he walked a beeline towards the dressing room to find Angel Dust standing on a pedestal in front of three mirrors.

Alastor’s not-ears-tuffs went into alert at the sight of an intricate blood red floral lace applique cathedral wedding veil. He stepped closer to see that the lace stitching added to the veil were butterflies and other small insects. It even included interestingly small frogs. He then stepped a bit to the right and forward to see the man in the mirror with shorter hair side swept stylishly. Angel didn’t notice Alastor as he stared at the sheer long sleeve lace applique blood red trumpet wedding gown with a heart-shaped neckline that defined his chest fluff that was smaller than it used to be.

“Why the fuck am I wearing this?”

Angel pulled off the veil, throwing it onto the hill of clothes. Alastor’s eyes landed on Angel’s exposed back that was slightly covered by the labyrinthine needlework.

The spider sighed loudly, “How in the world am I supposed to have an image change, if I don’t even know what I’m trying to change into!”

Alastor took this as his cue to clear his throat. Angel turned around, having the sweep train of his dress turned dramatically with him. Alastor took a moment to take in Angel’s surprised expression. The two haven’t seen the other for a few weeks, but they were quite heavy weeks.

Angel gasped once he realized who it was. “Alastor! Thank Lucifer, someone with some fashion sense! Of course I had Charlie with me here, and Miss Rosie was more than happy to help me shop for a whole new wardrobe since I’m not a sex worker anymore, but then Mimzy came over, and I thought, Hell Yeah, more help! But then the two old broads got into a fight like two lesbian wives fighting over which of their spouses were better when we started talking about the Gibson girl and Olive Thomas. The two decided to go out to have a throw down, and Charlie had the gall to leave me here to decide on the most important decisions of my life! Can you believe them?!”

He sat down on the bench against the wall with his two sets of arms crossed.

Alastor was curious as to how recently that show down was and whether it ended yet. However, his interest was far more aimed at the recently recovered Angel Dust.

“Yes. Yes. Quite selfish of them. Tell me, Angel, how are you? The last time I heard of you, you were kidnapped and heavily tortured in front of our companion Charlie!”

“Oh that.” He sighed, lying against the wall with his shoulders drooped. “Yeah, some asshole decided to get back at Charlie’s parents by hurting their daughter, and the idiot thought torturing me in front of her would do it. But we showed him a thing or two that we won’t have to see his face coming back any time soon. How ‘bout you? How did you take to Heaven killing off an entire city in front of you?”

“Splendid! Absolutely heartwrenchingly terrifying that it threw everything into absolute utter chaos! Demons running around helplessly looking for sanctuary when there isn’t one. But that’s not the best part! Oh, if you had been there, then you would’ve heard Hell’s proclaimed princess broadcast her nerve-stopping wail all throughout Hell like an absolute force to be reckon with!”

Angel gasped! His eyes lighting up with pride and excitement, “Holy shit! Seriously! She like went up to the mic and _screamed_ into it?!” He focused his gaze at the side of his fist, pretending it was mic.

“Yes my dear listener! Not only that, but she even dared to try to fight me to prevent me from seeing you in your unfortunate injured state!” Alastor held a small grudge against that, but it was smothered at Angel’s reaction.

“I heard that part! Was it a real shocker? I mean we saw Charlie grow some balls time to time, but to actually go almost demonic on you?! Fuck! I missed out on so much! It’s not fair!” He laid down on the bench, groaning in envy.

But Alastor assured him, “Don’t worry my dear listener! You may still be in for a treat since the angelic weapons of the exterminators are still out there being traded among the lesser irresponsible demon crowd!”

“That’s true,” Angel sat back up, “But Charlie’s parents are already trying to fix that mess since it’s no good for business in Hell if we’re all killed off easily by each other. But it must’ve put your plans to the gutter when all this happened. I heard that while I was gone filming my last adult video, with Valentino paying for all of it of course, that you got Vaggie and Charlie to break up.”

“Ah yes. Well to tell you the truth, there was no bigger nefarious plan behind that. I was simply listening to my dear fans who have tolerated Vaggie’s presence, but now find her as a true nuisance after our last debacle, that I thought that in order to truly spice things up, I’d just get rid of her in the most amusing way.”

“Breaking hearts instead of eating them. That truly is far more devilish of you. But it looks like after the whole heaven beam incident, Vaggie came running right back to the hotel. So much for that huh.”

“I think it’s an improvement if anything! Two lovers bought back together at the dimmest of times only for one to discover that the other has been changed through great horrific trauma due to their choices! Truly, it may bring out a far more tolerable character out of miss Vaggie now that our dear Charlie has stepped up to the plate!”

“Hohoho, you clever bastard. Can’t be mad since this is a good change for Charlie. What with how intense the hotel is now, the gal looks more reliable.” He got up. “I should change out of this thing. I must look ridiculous.”

“Not at all! You look lovely my effeminate pal!”

Angel snorted, placing two fists on his hip and waist, “Lovely enough for you to marry me, Mr. Radio demon?” He sauntered over to his changing door slowly with a sway to his hips, “If you were to make me your wife, I would be a good little house wife who’d wake up first to make you breakfast, pack your lunch, iron your clothes, and coo to you as I straighten your bow tie words of encouragement before you head off to work.” He turned around, laying sexily on the door, “And while you work, I’d wreak my own havoc, covered in the blood of someone else, and bosom filled with cash I cheated out of a poor sap. And when I get back home, I’d have enough time to make sure the home is nice and tidy with a home cooked dinner on your table. Now where I went grocery shopping to make that meal, you’d just have to read the tomorrow’s newspaper.”

Alastor played along, knowing that this was all a harmless play. Then again, he couldn’t help being swooned at the scenario Angel imagined. The spider knew how to make a mean dessert with what Hell could reap. “Now, now, Angel. We talked about the flirting. No doing it in public. But I must say, you’ve definitely improved.”

Angel held back his laughter to continue his ‘flirting’, “I figured an old fashioned guy like you would like that. But sadly, I can’t see our marriage lasting long.”

“Oh? And why’s that?”

“You know what a spider does to their man. It’s a matter of time before one of us eat the other.”

“My dear Angel, don’t tempt me.”

“Put a ring on it first.” He turned away, and entered his fitting room and stood where Alastor could still see the bottom half of the dress, and watch it drop to the floor.

The radio demon shook his head, unknowingly pulling a warm soft smile at the fitting room door.

Angel then cut through the playfulness, “But for real, I really need your help. For the last twenty years I’ve been letting Valentino decide what I wear, and I didn’t question it cuz he’s the professional, y’know. Not that he dictated everything I wore, but it defined me for the most part. Y’listening?”

“Yes dear! I’m listening.”

“Great! Cuz I just don’t know what to go for now. I mean I’ll still do some pole dancing and drag show on my nights out, and maybe still do a little bit of prostituting cuz I ain’t gonna give a fuck for free y’know. Not in Hell of all places. Most of them are terrible lays anyway. But I still wanna start out fresh. Be something new to make it all real, y’know. And at first I thought, let’s do classy modern sexy and not slutty sexy anymore. Like business woman out on the town sexy. Y’get me right?”

Alastor simply hummed in response.

“But I have this friend I haven’t seen in a while coming back in my life. I haven’t seen him since I started my porn star days, and he just recently got freed from a bad deal, and is meeting me after the extermination, and I want to dress up for him.”

Alastor hummed louder in curiosity.

“And he’s a guy I’ve spent a majority of my time in Hell here. Before anyone knew me as Porn Star Angel Dust, it was just the two of us doing shit knows what. He’s...the other half of me.” In the fitting room, Angel placed his hand on his chest. “It’s weird. I know. Angel Dust talking about someone he cares about without getting defensive about it, but we’ve been through thick n’ thin together way back to when we were alive. Since I was baby, no joke.” He smiled at that little inside joke. “When we got split, I...didn’t know if I could bear surviving in Hell, and not let it change me into the empty soulless freaks you see around you. But I quickly realize that no matter what it throws at me, I’ll remember him, and what...love is.”

Alastor felt his body stiffen yet somehow he felt himself falling away too.

“Geeze, you must think I’m bonkers for saying all that stuff, and I’m stupid to be saying all of this, but it just shows how much I miss him, I guess. So yeah, can you help me pick out an outfit. I still want to be business woman out on the town sexy but vintage. Miss Rosie wanted me to go all Edwardian but Mimzy thought the flapper style suited me better. Charlie thought the fifties-to-sixties would be a good choice, but now my brain is all screwed up. What do you think, Al?...Al?”

“Yes!” Al shook off his strange feelings. “You would look spectacular in all those eras. Even in women clothing!”

Angel snorted, “Thanks.” he dryly joked, then said, “But seriously. Which decade, Al?”

Alastor felt a reluctance to help, but didn’t know why. He would more than love to shower Angel with his knowledge of fashion and understanding of any decade he preferred. He also felt some joy in being the victor in changing Angel’s course in fashion from the dreadful decisions that Valentino had forced on the poor spider.

He ignored that turning feeling in his gut, and replied, “Why the 1930s my dear!”

“1930s?”

“Right-o! I can’t imagine a more perfect decade of fashion that the 30s!” Alastor snapped his fingers having Angel in the room be dressed in his fashion.

The spider exited the room to reveal himself in a rose pink afternoon dress that was of a slender bias cut with a flair at the hem below his knees. A matching belt practically invisible was wrapped high on his waist and the cap sleeves reached above his elbow. Angel turned to the three mirrors, noting the matching cloche hat, the modest v-neck line, the cute oxford shoes, and finally his gloves.

He stepped closer to see his red lips and fluttered his dark lashes. He lastly touched his neck, remembering decades back to New Orleans when his mother gave him a gorgeous set of jewelry that he only got to wear in public during that trip.

He took a deep shaky breath. “It’s perfect.” He held back his tears and turned side to side, loving the way the skirt swayed with him. “Thank you, Alastor!” He became flushed with happiness, as he began dancing like a little girl around the pedestal, humming a jazzy tune that Alastor remembered.

He snapped his fingers, having the swing music come to life. Angel gasped in surprise, and immediately got into dancing with that passionate craze that Alastor adored. He didn’t complain when Angel pulled him in, and the two began dancing all across the emporium like a mad couple on cocaine.

This attracted the other shoppers who joined in on the madness. Angel laughed at one of them who looked like they were have a spasm, but his laughter was cut short when Alastor pulled him in to where his attention should be. Angel found himself dipped down and held there to look up at the deer man who had a certain gleam in his eye with that cocky grin.

“You really know how to bring a dead decade back to life don’t you.” Angel complimented.

Alastor complimented back, “Only because people like you my dear fridge its heart so it may beat for another day.”

“Did you just call me a freezer?”

“I must’ve since you sure know how to put a chill in my spine!”

Angel gave a very ugly laugh to that before calming down to give a teasing, “Cute.”

The two smirked at each other, and then continued on their fun dancing until there was a screeching, _ **“ALASTOOOOR!”**_

The music came to an abrupt halt, and the deer man put up a portal. “It was fun while it lasted Angel, but I think I hear my refrigerator running!” He jumped through before Rosie could get her zombie cannibals to catch him.

Angel quietly snorted at the lame outdated joke done wrong. Charlie walked up to him with Moonmoon in her arms, “Oh, that looks really good on you!”

“It does, doesn’t it!” Angel happily twirled for her. “Mom is definitely going to love my outfits now!”

“Did you tell Alastor?”

“I did, but without mentioning that the guy was my mom. Mom did say in his letter to keep it a secret since we don’t want that spreading, y’know.” The two walked back to the store that they were at before they were interrupted.

“Right, because your mom has a dangerous reputation among demons because of his master, and now that he’s free, he doesn’t want to bring those problems here. Not before he gets here at least.” Charlie remembered, but she had absolutely no idea that Angel’s mother was her nanny Rudy.

Angel did since it was on the letter, and Rudy would rather prefer to be present to explain to Charlie. The knowledge didn’t do much to change how he thought or felt about Charlie. If anything, he was relieved to know his mother didn’t suffer for too long after the war. But more importantly, his mother had juicy gossip and embarrassing stories to share once he arrives.

._._._.

Back at the radio tower, Alastor added a new film reel to his collection. Though he felt a bit embarrassed by this one since it’s been a long while since anyone had ever pulled him into a dance since he always preferred it the other way.

However that embarrassment was smothered by this vile heat in his chest when he remembered Angel speaking so...lovingly for this stranger that Alastor have not even heard of til today. Love? Perhaps he feels this way because his sadistic tendencies were whispering to him that this was the true perfect time to destroy Angel Dust. Who better to break the spider in front of than in front of the person he loves the most.

True Angel was the practical embodiment of joy for the decades long gone, but those decades were also filled with tragedy. Wouldn’t it be glamorous to see that side as well?

Alastor turned back to his chair with a heavier head when his antlers grew an inch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THAT'S NOT HOW FEELINGS WORK ALASTOR!!!!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this fic well established how Angel Dust died, his relationship with his mom, the friendship between Charlie and Angel, that Angel isn’t a helpless little demon in need of saving, and also established some mystery that any of you would like to know about.
> 
> Or maybe this was all a mess and I’m sorry. Also suck at story pacing, but prefer to read at my pacing anyway.


End file.
